Sunday, October 19, 2008

Cunnilingus Singalong

I had so much fun compiling my list of porn-related songs that I decided to make it a regular feature (or, should we say, regular so long as I'm still interested in it, not too busy, and can find the music!). So, without further ado, here's some fun and happy songs about that time-honored tradition- cunnilingus, pussyeating, clam-diving, carpet-munching, muff-diving . . . you get the picture. Fifteen songs instead of ten because there are so many women out there not getting as much cunnilingus as they deserve (if any), or if they are, it sucks. Oh, and don't worry, boys- yours is coming soon, too ;)

1) Andy Shmushkin's "Christmas Cunnilingus". Well, yes, okay, so it's only October. But since the stores are already trying to sell me Christmas decorations, and apparently some people do actually like to buy their presents before Christmas Eve, maybe you should avoid the rush . . . and get your lady some Christmas cunnilingus?



2) God-des & She's "Lick It". It's basically a hip-hopalicious sex instruction. And the video is awesome.



3)The Wet Spots' "Labia Limbo", is the best oral sex song out there. Technically this covers oral sex on the men, too, but since it's got "labia" right in the title, we can't leave it behind. It even includes lesbian cunnilingus as well as male, and that Hawaiaan tune? Makes me want to lay down on the sand and spread my legs.



4) Khia's "My Neck My Back". Well, it's not all that catchy or groovy to me, but it certainly is graphic/explicit on licking pussy and crack! This song ties with Lil' Kim's "How Many Licks?".



5) Trina took Sisqo's "Thong Song" and made it much more fun for the ladies as the parody "Tongue Song". That's okay; Sisqo made up for it by promising to "kiss the lips under your navel" in "Got To Get It". My only complaint is that I've never called my vagina a "cocha".



6)20 Fingers' "Lick It". Mostly a dance song, but still fun and makes you want to move. Or just to get soft and wet.



7) "Oral Sex Blues" by Mr. Richard McDaniel. Yeah, he may not sing amazingly, and I'm pretty sure he's not really singing the blues so much as asking to lick pussy, but it's still fun. And, as someone commented on his page, it's very brave of him to admit he sucks at fucking.



8) Patricia Villetoo tries to pinpoint the flavor of pussy in "Salty Pennies". Okay, so it's more like spoken word with guitar background than a true belt-it-out song, but still. More importantly, what do YOU think vagina tastes like?



9) From Chicago's Kama Sutra: The Musical (something I wish I could see . . . come to the West Coast!), here's "The Cunnilingus Song". Too bad it's not that great of a quality.



10) From the cunnilingus-obsessed singer himself, Marvin Sease's adorable "I Ate You For Breakfast". Only because Youtube didn't have his others, like "Candy Licker".



11) "Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny" by Bloodhound Gang. Not my type of music, or the kind of vaginal descriptions I find very flattering, but well, the title still gets me every time. I'm waiting to be able to tell someone this and totally ruin any romantic mood, lol.



12) The Beatnuts' "Lick The Pussy". Pretty groovy.



13) Consolidated (ft. The Yeastie Girls) has the awesomest anthem about demanding for your share of the oral lovin' with "Suck It".



14) Machine Gun Fellatio's "Pussytown". Oh yeah, it's funky. Sexy. And so funky!



15) Madonna's "Where Life Begins". Sexy, indirect but somehow completely transparent, the way only Madonna seems to be able to do.



Oh, and he's not on Youtube, but definitely check out Josefsberg & Gurner's "Cream Of Wife On My Beard" here on their Myspace. Call me bagel-face 'cuz I'm shmeared!

So there you have it. Sing a song to your lady and then get your face down there!

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