Friday, August 21, 2009

25 Things I Want (In Bed)

Recently, Greta Christina got the awesome opportunity to go and see Adam Savage (a.k.a. the redheaded dude w/o the beret on "Mythbusters") read a piece he wrote about 100 things he wanted in life (a little bit of it is here). She was so inspired by it- and so incensed at the fact that it left out anything sexual- that she wrote her own list, narrowed down to 25 instead of 100, of things she wants in bed- ranging from the fantastical to the easily attainable. Tt was entirely fascinating to read, and of course, ended up inspiring me to write my own, as well.

Some were quite surprising, like recurring themes of not having to struggle with self-esteem. Others, it just felt nice to actually write out some of the fantasies that have long lived unspoken in my head. Some of them are things I'm dedicated to setting out and doing, because this list made me very aware that it's possible, and, what's more, that I deserve them. It was really an interesting experience to write it- very thought-provoking. I highly encourage anybody else to try writing out their own- sexual or otherwise. And, in the meantime, feel free to read mine, after the jump!

1) I want to be the victim in a serial killer-inspired roleplay fantasy. (Okay, fine. Dexter-inspired. I'll admit that the idea of being naked and strapped with plastic wrap to a table, with Michael C. Hall staring me down, gives me delicious shivers). I couldn't even tell you what I'd want to happen in the role-playing . . . not sex, because that would kind of ruin/cheapen it, not hardcore torture, because I couldn't take it. Just some sort of serious fear, the threat of sick twisted shit and menace, a strong sense of ritual and routine and just a sort of pervasive evil, a detached boredom. Hard to explain.

2) I want to have an emotional breakthrough in a BDSM scene- for tears to suddenly come pouring out unbidden from somewhere deep inside of me.

3) I want to spend time in some sort of BBW nudist/sex resort where everybody there is hot for my body type, and I can wear whatever I like- clingy fabrics included- and for once not let the confidence come from the inside, but to relax and let it come from others, from the outside.

4) I want to have sex with a beautiful androgynous person who has literally all parts- breasts, cock, cunt, asshole and prostate. Don't ask me how it's all arranged; it's just there.

5) I want to find and use completely opaque condoms- thick and in all bright colors of the rainbow, and use them on a guy- turning his cock into a pretty sex toy. My first sexual fantasies, before I really knew what a condom actually looked like, imagined it to be opaque and as orange as a traffic cone (why did I think that?), and the image has stuck with me.

6) I want to have a prostate and feel what men feel when they get fucked.

7) I want to have sex while pressed flat to the window on the highest floor of some urban skyscraper at night- the chill of the cold glass against my skin in the front, the warmth of the body behind me, and the gorgeous twinkling nightscape below me.

8) I want to get my labia and nipples pierced.

9) I want to create porn with my own personal vision.

10) I want to be mummified (below the neck) in Saran wrap.

11) I want to experience weightless sex in a zero gravity environment. I want to take advantage of all sorts of freakish acrobat-style sex positions while doing so.

12) I want to stumble upon an orgy in a beautiful meadow, full of mythical creatures- satyrs, fairies, pixies, mermaids, nymphs, gods and goddesses, witches, vampires, centaurs, angels, demons . . . all gorgeous and iridescent in the light of bonfires. And then I want to be invited in.

13) I want to be able to, at least for one day, walk around and not have to censor myself at all. I want to sing bawdy songs while I do the dishes. I want to crack crude sexual jokes and elbow and wink at people. I want to talk openly about kinky sexual things. I want to watch a TV program and say all the things that I want to do to that hottie onscreen, the things I currently only say in my head. I want everybody to be on the same page as me, to be fine with all of this, and to do it, too.

14) I want to vacation with a lover at a huge, beautiful, hidden-away-in-the-woods kinky bed-and-breakfast.

15) I want the courage to be able to tell someone who doesn't (or who won't likely) reciprocate my feelings that I find them sexy and attractive. I want to do it without being vulnerable. I want not to care and thus make them squirm and feel awkward, instead of me. I want to have the power and strength to be able to pull a Katya Derevko move (in "Alias", she tells him "I find you sexy, Jack. Deal with it."). That's what I want, to tell others to deal with the fact that yes, I find people who are "out of my league" to be sexy. And I want admitting that to not make me feel bad about myself, but better.

16) I want to have a poly relationship, even if we all sort of know that it's not something that's going to last. I just want the experience, and to be able to part ways amicably, when it comes to that.

17) I want one roleplay costume that was custom-made just for me- fitted, tailored, authentic design, expensive fabrics, excellent sewing, high-quality, exquisite attention to details. The kind of costume that gives you a thrill just to know that it is in your closet, that fits like a dream and feels like a million bucks, that instantly transforms you into the role when you put it on.

18) I want to undergo My Fair Lady-esque training, with feminization training mixed in . . . taught how to be a good companion, the perfect woman. Lots of training to walk in high heels, to float effortlessly as I walk, to be charming and graceful, to become a femme fatale. I want to accompany him somewhere to be made to perform the role, and I want for every second to radiate my submissive desire to please and his quiet, controlled dominance and pleasure with it.

19) I want to see an erotic cabaret or burlesque performance at some wonderful atmospheric club that's evocative of the 1930's.

20) I want to masturbate while lying in a massive, pillowy pile of women's dirty underwear (dirty as in smelling strongly of them, crotches stained with sexual fluids . . . no skid marks, just to clarify), breathing in the overwhelming scent all around me. And then I want to fall asleep there, curled up in them.

21) I want to seduce a naive, innocent, virtuous, beautiful barely legal boy, in tandem with an equally kinky female partner, to watch him resist, succumb, fight the urges, give into the temptation as we tease him and introduce him to everything possible, as he experiences it for the first time. Extra points if he's religious and shy and repressed but curious (of course). Or maybe it'd be a little more ethical if it were roleplay and I wasn't actually inducing sinful behavior and creating nonbelievers.

22) I want to be mindfucked by someone who is a master of mindfuck.

23) I want to pay for sex with a gorgeous butch lesbian escort (or, alternatively, a sexy FtM escort). I'm not quite sure why I have this fantasy, actually . . . but I've bookmarked every one of the few escorting profiles out there on the web and it's pretty damn persistent as a fantasy, holding all the appeal that a femme escort or a male escort simply doesn't have for me.

24) I want to try a fucking machine. Well, actually, I would just like access to all the different fucking machines there are in the world, please and thank you.

25) I want to be able to change sex at will- including to any variety of trans or intersex bodies.

So . . . what are your 25 things?

8 comments:

Jibreel Riley said...

these days, honestly all I want to do is sleep for the next six months (very bad break up I'm going thru)

Anonymous said...

Hi, there.. I just like to ask if do you accept a blog roll??.. thanks and a have nice day..

棗子 said...

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Emily 18 Video Clips said...

I want to sleep with Angelina Jolie if you ask me! LOL!

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