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Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Monday, November 10, 2008
Now That It's (Sorta) Over . . .
Well . . . we lost. Despite my fellow porn enthusiasts going out and buying to your heart's content, and despite voting (as I know you all did), we failed to defeat the ban on gay marriage here in California (a.k.a. Prop 8).
Of course, that doesn't mean defeat; the results were so incredibly close, support and opposition was huge on both sides, and, as Jiz Lee so wonderfully brought to my attention, the fight soldiers on. And hooray for that, because the last thing we need is to become demoralized and give up. We do not live in a democracy, where a majority rules our lives- we live in a republic, where the majority rules . . . so long as they don't infringe on our rights. I'd say refusing the right of marriage is one of those that we're entitled to (as citizens, taxpayers, and heck, human beings). So we'll turn to the blindfolded lady Justice and let her weigh it out in the times to come.
But now that all's said and done, I don't want an angry rant about homophobia, or a weepy rant about losing, or even an inspirational manifesto about overcoming. I want to ask: what are we doing?
It's incredible, I think, the amount of money we were able to raise in support of the "No On 8" campaign- a brilliant $38,432,873. We even beat out the other side with their $36,122,538 (not that it helped). I can hardly fathom these numbers- they seem fantastical. All for a few ads to try and sway the general public.
I don't mean to say that opposing Prop 8 isn't important- I hope that it's clear that it's a huge deal and one that certainly makes a difference in lives- it's not just about some abstract "rights", but about respect and tolerance and being acknowledged, in being able to be with your partner, and, for those already married, for staying that way. But was it worth such a price tag?
I'll admit that my thoughts have been seriously swayed by a book I bought a while back- Mattilda Bernstein's That's Revolting. In it are a bevy of essays asking the somewhat taboo question that doesn't get asked nearly enough in queer circles- the biggest of which is "Do we even need marriage?". Some will scream- of course we do! And on the other side of the divide is the radicals who would like to do away with the whole institution on the basis of what it used to be and maybe still stands for (the symbolic passing over of a bride from her father to her new husband as chattel?), or favor the philsophical approach that we don't need no stinkin' pieces of paper to prove our bonds. You've got queer folks who want to get married, queer folks who don't and never would, thinking it's too "straight", queer folks who want to have something but don't want to call it marriage, and those who won't stand for anything less than the M word. There isn't a queer around (I think) who says we don't deserve the right to marriage; that's a given. But as to whether we ought be fighting one of our many battles here, on this issue, and spending our money here, I just don't know if it's that clear-cut.
The various essays bring up strong, radical points that I don't always believe/agree with, but which are provocative nonetheless. Is marriage, and this fight for gay marriage, a fight that only benefits some queers? Does it represent a class of relatively elite, affluent, mainly white conservative (i.e. non-radical, not non-liberal) gays and lesbians, who have a vested interest in the institution of marriage, and the privileges it brings, both pyschological, in social reception, and least not in asset sharing and whatnot? How much of the fight for gay marriage has to do with wanting the status and privilege that comes with it, and the normalizing effect that goes with it? I'm not saying that queer folks are somehow less equipped or less inclined to go hand-in-hand with marriage. Gay marriage naturally belongs on the list of the gay agenda list (you know, the real one, not the one that has 'recruit and convert all the innocent chitlins on it).
My question is this: could that money have been put to other, better use? How many lives could have been bettered if the money went to helping the queers that get left out of the HRC meetings, or blatantly turned away? What if instead of waging a neverending battle against the lies thrown out by the Prop 8 supporters, the money was used for organizations with outreach and education? What if we created more and helped keep the public queer spaces open? How about providing aid to the GLBTQ homeless and at-risk youth?
Those are just some of the thoughts running through my head. Hmm.
Of course, that doesn't mean defeat; the results were so incredibly close, support and opposition was huge on both sides, and, as Jiz Lee so wonderfully brought to my attention, the fight soldiers on. And hooray for that, because the last thing we need is to become demoralized and give up. We do not live in a democracy, where a majority rules our lives- we live in a republic, where the majority rules . . . so long as they don't infringe on our rights. I'd say refusing the right of marriage is one of those that we're entitled to (as citizens, taxpayers, and heck, human beings). So we'll turn to the blindfolded lady Justice and let her weigh it out in the times to come.
But now that all's said and done, I don't want an angry rant about homophobia, or a weepy rant about losing, or even an inspirational manifesto about overcoming. I want to ask: what are we doing?
It's incredible, I think, the amount of money we were able to raise in support of the "No On 8" campaign- a brilliant $38,432,873. We even beat out the other side with their $36,122,538 (not that it helped). I can hardly fathom these numbers- they seem fantastical. All for a few ads to try and sway the general public.
I don't mean to say that opposing Prop 8 isn't important- I hope that it's clear that it's a huge deal and one that certainly makes a difference in lives- it's not just about some abstract "rights", but about respect and tolerance and being acknowledged, in being able to be with your partner, and, for those already married, for staying that way. But was it worth such a price tag?
I'll admit that my thoughts have been seriously swayed by a book I bought a while back- Mattilda Bernstein's That's Revolting. In it are a bevy of essays asking the somewhat taboo question that doesn't get asked nearly enough in queer circles- the biggest of which is "Do we even need marriage?". Some will scream- of course we do! And on the other side of the divide is the radicals who would like to do away with the whole institution on the basis of what it used to be and maybe still stands for (the symbolic passing over of a bride from her father to her new husband as chattel?), or favor the philsophical approach that we don't need no stinkin' pieces of paper to prove our bonds. You've got queer folks who want to get married, queer folks who don't and never would, thinking it's too "straight", queer folks who want to have something but don't want to call it marriage, and those who won't stand for anything less than the M word. There isn't a queer around (I think) who says we don't deserve the right to marriage; that's a given. But as to whether we ought be fighting one of our many battles here, on this issue, and spending our money here, I just don't know if it's that clear-cut.
The various essays bring up strong, radical points that I don't always believe/agree with, but which are provocative nonetheless. Is marriage, and this fight for gay marriage, a fight that only benefits some queers? Does it represent a class of relatively elite, affluent, mainly white conservative (i.e. non-radical, not non-liberal) gays and lesbians, who have a vested interest in the institution of marriage, and the privileges it brings, both pyschological, in social reception, and least not in asset sharing and whatnot? How much of the fight for gay marriage has to do with wanting the status and privilege that comes with it, and the normalizing effect that goes with it? I'm not saying that queer folks are somehow less equipped or less inclined to go hand-in-hand with marriage. Gay marriage naturally belongs on the list of the gay agenda list (you know, the real one, not the one that has 'recruit and convert all the innocent chitlins on it).
My question is this: could that money have been put to other, better use? How many lives could have been bettered if the money went to helping the queers that get left out of the HRC meetings, or blatantly turned away? What if instead of waging a neverending battle against the lies thrown out by the Prop 8 supporters, the money was used for organizations with outreach and education? What if we created more and helped keep the public queer spaces open? How about providing aid to the GLBTQ homeless and at-risk youth?
Those are just some of the thoughts running through my head. Hmm.
Monday, April 7, 2008
It's Tax Time . . .
My taxes are all done!Okay, so fine, you caught me. I didn't actually do my taxes; my dad and Turbo Tax took care of it. And if all things turn out well, I'll be getting back a nice $300 or so (gosh, I hope so. I really want to pay off my credit card). But it got me thinking about where all my money's been going to lately. Aside from gas to cart me to and fro and the occasional (okay, fine, more than occasional) midnight snack of nachos, it's all been ... porn.
Porn, erotica, and the odd sex toy throw in. Of course, they weren't all bought at once, but when I take a look at my collection from a financial standpoint, well, um, it's a lot.
Let's factor it all in:
* I haven't recently counted every pornographic/sex-related DVD I own lately, but a quick tally in my head gives me a conservative estimate of around 25. And unfortunately, indie porn just isn't cheap. I understand why, of course, but that doesn't make my wallet cry any less. Averaging at about $40 a pop (to take in the delightfully cheap few I got with the abnormally high prices I paid for a couple of others), that means I've spent $1,000.00 on porn. Add in a recurring website subscription at $35 a month (going on for 7 months), and things just start to look really bad.
* Picture it: I do tremendous G-spot toy research. I am like a maverick, weighing the good of each toy against the bad. I am making An Investment For My Future Sexual Pleasure. I finally decide on Fun Factory's "G-Swirl" vibrator from Good Vibrations. It's beautiful. It works quite nice. Its engine quits on me in a month's time, and I weep . . . that's $64.00 down the drain. I guess the thing could still be worth it for someone, but as a dildo, I'm just not digging it.
* I am far too much of a sucker for written erotica, and because my adamant e-mail requests that the library buy everything on my wish list go mostly unanswered, I turn to Amazon. Ever since I got my credit card and a shippable address, I've ordered some 30-odd books either about sex, gender, or full of sexy stories. While prices range, giving them a rough average of $15 each, that's $450.00 bucks for printed paper. I swear, when I become rich beyond my wildest dreams (because of course that's what will happen), I shall make sure that libraries across the country, with the help of my grants, have lots of queer and trans erotica available for the poor and horny college students.
* I love music. I love getting off. Ergo I was way too intrigued by the OhMiBod vibrator, which hooks into your mp3 player (well, your Ipod, if you're not as poor as me) and is supposed to vibrate in sync to the beats of whatever you're listening to. Except that I can't get the darned thing to work half the time, and when it does, it doesn't take kindly to my list of sexy songs, preferring instead to vibrate only to loud and relatively unsexy artists like Bowling For Soup. I've given up on the stupid thing . . . and there's another $69.00 that I'll never get back.
Altogether, that means that I've spent roughly $1,600.00 on sexy stuff. I think it's amazing, and a little scary. Happy to support indie porn. Happy to be the kind of person who knows what turns her on and can get off. But still, thank goodness nobody has thought to ask me where all my money goes.
From now on, I'm off to the land of freebies: Xtube, Literotica, taking website tours and furiously jerking off to preview videos, Google Image Search (safe search off!), and the best softcore sex and nudity that cable TV can offer (dismally less now that Nip/Tuck is over).
Final thought: I hate being broke and knowing exactly where my money went :(
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