Friday, June 20, 2008
Time and time again, it would sneak up on me, reminding me that not everything is okay in the porn world.
Forget about squabbles over a .xxx domain name. Ignore the worries of whether or not making credit card age verification violates pornography sites' rights (well, okay, don't ignore it, just put it on the back burner for now). Instead, it's time to start asking why consensual acts in porn are illegal.
Technically, it becomes all the more confusing because there isn't a grand, prurient list somewhere detailing all of the acts that are illegal in porn. Rather, with famed "obscenity laws", operating at the state or lower level, a community can apparently band together and reject what they find obscene (do they all decide unanimously, I wonder, or are the husbands sitting there squirming as they vote "obscene" next to their wives?). Works that judges decide don't have serious literary, artistic, political, or social merit can be declared illegal, and the folks who created it can be jailed.
I wonder . . . I'm quite sure that there is a bevvy of reality TV programming that quite honestly lacks merit whatsoever, besides its entertainment value. It's got to be brimming with more crap than your most hardcore scat porn. Why aren't the courts going after them?
Well, I'm sure it's obvious the Puritan values that are seeping in- the ones of those that seem determined that the government was created, of course, so they could do exactly as they pleased, being a nice and convenient majority. And then add in a good deal of people who are disgusted, viscerally, by the sight of hardcore pornography (versus rather, just the idea of it), who think it'd be nice if that stuff wasn't around. And finally, those who have no beefs with hardcore porn either way- and have a similar apathy for fighting for freedom of the press. Combine them all together and you get what's happening now- the losing end of a battle.
Like I said in the beginning, the signs kept- and continue- rolling in. It first came as I listened eagerly to the director's commentary from one of Shine Louise Houston's wonderful films (I'm think it was "The Crash Pad", but can't be sure), where she oh-so-casually mentioned that yep, there was the penetration, all four fingers but shy of that fifth, the thumb, because you can't show fisting on-screen. It shocked me quite a bit- a naive little thing who had no idea that there was anything beyond death and minors who couldn't be displayed in a pornographic way. I thought about it, and let it fade somewhat. Later, I'd be watching Fatale Media's "Bathroom Sluts" when it would rear its head again- in the form of a big, pale pink dot resolutely covering whatever illegal actions were happening in the meet between that hand and vagina. The credits at the end of the film told me all about why that pink dot was there, and I started to get angry. I remember asking why fisting was illegal on Yahoo! Answers- for even with the help of Wikipedia, obscenity laws are pretty vague and complex issues- and mostly getting answers to the tune of "It's not. Where did you hear that?" and so forth. Even more anger. The lack of people's knowledge on the subject makes it ten times worse, because how can you fight something when nobody believes it's even happening?
Now I'm not surprised when I read in an interview that Tony Comstock of the wonderful Comstock Films says he has an footage of an "ode to fisting" already recorded . . . but one that won't be released and turned into a movie, because he's just not ready to be condemned to a jail cell for it (and who could blame him?). Kink.com regularly reports doing cautious "tests" to sniff the cultural and legal airs, experimenting with watersports and fisting and gauging reactions to see if they can go further without fears of reprecussions. European DVD's with hot, sexy fisting scenes are shipped to the U.S. edited, minus said hot, sexy, fisting. Max Hardcore, the guy behind some truly hardcore stuff (fisting, ), has finally come out the other end of his obscenity trial and landed in jail.
And while many online sites are freed of the fisting censorship- imagine my surprise when Crashpadseries.com featured some good old-fashioned handballing in their very first episode!- or aren't as worried about it as they are with DVD's that are shipped across state lines, it even continues to sneak its way around the 'Net.
Just today, I find out that Trannywood Pictures will have their films available for viewing online, through Good Vibrations' site. Awesome, right? Well, no, not so much- because the scenes will have to be edited to, yes, you guessed it, take out the amazing ass-fisting scenes between Ian Sparks, Brett McCloskey, and Dex Hardlove. The company behind the VOD network understandably doesn't want to make itself vulnerable to legal suits (and I stress the 'understandably' because I don't want people to make it out as a "bad company being all moralistic" situation). Everyone here is working within the sad parameters laid out by our antiquated laws, and Trannywood will be yet another to make the sacrifice in order to get more viewers and customers. Indie porn that's portraying a more realistic sexuality- one that acknolwedges that people do fist in real life- struggle the hardest; they do not have the financial recourses to fight in court, nor often the ability to turn down releasers or retailers who put constraints on their work.
I'm just sad, overall. The fight's still in me, but it's waning under the tidal wave of bad news after bad news.
Monday, June 16, 2008
After Playbutch.com, Cyber Dyke's queer twist on "Playboy"- a site featuring hot butches and bois in sexy spreads, assorted articles, advice columns, and erotica- turned out to be a horrible, horrible unfulfilled tease (the site had roughly two online "issues" in 2003 and has since been neither updated nor disbanded), I started to lose faith in butch-appreciation endeavors. After all, nothing else was giving me hope. While sites that included butches and femmes flourished (the mainstream Butch-Femme and the adult Crash Pad Series, just to name one of the now many), those dedicated solely to butch-butch couplings (or perhaps better said masculine-masculine, to include FtM's in the spectrum) or just general appreciation of butches failed, miserably. Two sites I used to frequent- Butch-butch.com and the very promising Strapdivision.com- have both went belly-up, unfortunately. Domain names like http://www.butchbottoms.com/ don't take you to a wonderful place where butch bottoms- of any gender- get any fun . . . go ahead and click to see who owns that one!
My point, I guess, is simply that it seems that butches aren't very commercially viable on their own. In the realm of lesbian couples, femmes go with femmes first and foremost, butches go with femmes second, and finally, in the minority, butches pair up with other butches. Femmes have the right to be attracted to both butches and femmes; a butch who has a similar open-mindedness is less acceptable (in general lesbian culture). While porn with femmes only abounds, I know of no porn that features only butches. Butch-butch couplings may be in a well-received, well-selling porn, but femmes will also be present. And while I do love me some femmes, I really love butches, bois, FtM's, drag kings, genderqueers, and genderfuckers more. You'll have no trouble finding artsy sites devoted to beautiful black-and-white nude femmes . . . but point me to any site that puts butches on the receiving end of the lustful gaze- whether it's artistic nudity or exploitative cheesecake photos (beefcake?). Don't worry, I'm not holding my breath.
Why? Because, well, a new one has cropped up! Butch-Boi.com is a brand spankin' new site that specializes exlusively in, as the name hints at, butches and bois. Well, perhaps it isn't brand spankin' new- according to the site, its sex toy company leg has been in existence since 2005. But only now has it branched into media- a 2009 Hot Bois Calendar and supposedly a porno DVD full of hot, raw sex. The site itself is very new- it will have member pages, but that's under "Coming Soon". Still, there are already two lovely Butch Bois Of The Month- Cam and Tyler- and more on their Myspace page. The bois are indeed very hot- even if the photography looks mostly like hot pictures taken at someone's home with a Kodak. One can only hope that 1) they follow through with their plans for the calendar and DVD (and can find releasers/retailers), 2) that they keep things up-to-date and in-touch with those of us eagerly watching, and 3) that they don't drift away into obscurity like so many other butch-appreciation sites have.
So go, befriend them on the mighty Myspace, bookmark the site, and keep your eyes on this lovely endeavor!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Screw the fact that I could now smoke, get arrested and be tried as an adult, and vote. (Okay, well, getting to vote was pretty cool). Nah, the coolest part was the fact that now I could legally purchase all the porn and sex toys I wanted. It's the moment that everyone eagerly waits for, I think . . . you browse the knickknacks and figurines and collectibles in your local novelty shop at 16, 17 years old, just peering through that little gap in the curtains separating out all the fun adult novelties from what's accessible for you- Bettie Boop and I Love Lucy under glass. Before Blockbuster came and bought out my town's little independent video retailer, I remember those thin red curtains hanging in front of the hardcore pornography section, just sheer enough to be titillating, just thick enough to be frustrating. It's a thrill knowing that you have control of what sexual objects you can own. Which is why I feel so sorry for all the poor, sad, underage teenagers who can't. Time and time again I see questions- people asking "What can I use as a dildo?", and the answers are invariably from those who don't perceive the problem- "Just buy one online.", they say, without realizing that the underage teenager generally has no credit card (or one whose spending isn't monitored), and quite often no reliable place for the goods to be shipped without possibly being intercepted by parents. Similarly, while it would seem like it's easy to get porn, a good deal of kids struggle to overcome parental controls on the Internet, or a way to access a family computer in privacy. It's a tough world, and believe me, I know.
Sexuality is of course not defined down a line between 17 and 18, where one day past your birthday suddenly makes you aware of your body parts and lovely desires you have to do things with it. And because laws don't seem to acknowledge this fact, I'm here to help. Seriously, if I could, I'd be that old bum in the liquor store buying beer for kids . . . well, except that I wouldn't be an old bum, it'd actually be an adult store, and I'd be buying sex toys. But since I can't do that, here are some tips for being able to get your rocks off when the rest of the world seems intent on keeping you from doing exactly that.
Porn & Erotica
1) Go to the library. I know, I know what you're about to tell me: my library does not have sexy books; I've looked, and unless you find encyclopedias a turn-on, it simply doesn't. Well, you're probably right, if you're looking for copies of Playboy magazine. You probably won't find them. But many libraries do carry a surprising amoung of erotic books, particularly the classics. So it doesn't have naked people fornicating on the cover . . . but beggars can't be choosers, right? Plus it might just broaden your horizons to take in something with a little more literary recognition than "Penthouse Letters". Your library will probably carry innocent-looking books that are far from innocent- I picked up "The Story of O" and couldn't believe my luck with what its smutty pages had to offer. The anthology section, amidst its horror and detective collections, will often have one or two erotica anthologies (even a gay one if you're lucky). The erotic literary threesome- D.H. Lawrence, Anais Nin, and Henry Miller- are all likely to be on the shelves, and more that I can't even think of. So go and take a good hard look- it's FREE!
1) Butt plugs! Before electric juicers came along to help lazy cooks, there was this certain kitchen tool called a citrus reamer. And every time I see one, I'm just not thinking about lemon juice . . . because they really resemble butt plugs, what with their lovely diamond shape. So why not turn your citrus reamer into, well, an ass reamer? Of course, they aren't exactly the same- most butt plugs have a flat base that allows them to stand up on their own, the same base which acts as a flange to keep your booty from sucking the toy up into your lower intestine. And these reamers obviously don't have this nice option, so not only do you have to play very carefully, but you also won't be able to sit and walk around with it in (well, I suppose you could walk around, if you don't mind the handle sticking out quite conspicuously from between your cheeks!). But like I said, this isn't the list for great sex toys- it's the list for things that come close, will do in a pinch, and can be legally bought by 17-and-unders. Certainly a flanged base would be preferable, but most of the varied objects that underage folks interested in anal play are sticking up their bums don't have anything resembling a base, either. I might also add that the heavy, stainless steel reamers would make fantastic Kegel exercisers- insert, clutch them with your inner muscles to try to hold it there (or see if you can hold it standing). So if you've been admiring those butt-plugs online, you might want to belly up to your kitchewares section, make like you're fixing a jug of lemonade, and ream away. (Also, I might note that a good-quality stainless steel butt plug retails for anywhere between $60-$120. A nice stainless steel citrus reamer? Roughly $10-$15. You tell me what's better!)
2) Vibrators. Considering that lots of women have their first orgasms with vibrators, it's no surpise that what most teenage girls want most is a vibrator of their very own. So where do you go if you want something that vibrates, but innocently? Well, actually, nowadays so many things vibrate: your cell phone ("Call me back!"), Nintendo game controllers (just keep ramming your Nascar racecar into the retaining wall!), electric razors (obviously, not the end with the razors, or at least remove those before trying it out), your washer or dryer (hop on and ride that thing!), and a common favorite- the electric toothbrush. Personally, I always found the bristly end of my electric toothbrush too pokey and the other end's vibrations too subtle, but many women swear by it. And nobody at the checkout stand will think you have intentions other than polishing those pearly whites. And also, don't forget that many stores sell "personal massagers" which, despite their suggestive name, are actually used by lots of folks to truly massage places other than their genitals- to relieve stiffness, arthritis, achy muscles, etc., etc.. To buy one of these, you don't need to be 18 . . . and they can massage you up to an orgasm very nicely. Just crick your neck, put on a grimace, and limp up to a salesperson to ask!
3) Dildos. Ah, dildos, the desire of most gals and gays (and a couple of adventurous straight teen boys). People stick all sorts of things in their various orifices . . . and often end up in the emergency room or with nasty infections or a desire to just, well, not ever do that again. Believe me- I learned the hard way as well, when, after enjoying the smooth, rounded handle of my makeup blush brush, I accidentally got a bit of inner labia caught under the gold metal band. First off, ouch! Secondly, it was completely mortifying- there I was, heart pounding, as I tugged and debated calling my parents and having to show them what had happened and ask for help, or wondering whether I should grab a pair of scissors and try to cut myself loose (thank God I knew the stupidity of the latter, even then). Eventually I worked the skin loose and was able to breath a deep sigh of relief, but many aren't that lucky. So while there are tons of household items you can put in your body, you really ought to take care: find something that is smooth so it won't poke or scrape your tender insides (leave textured ridges, bumps, bloops, and whatnot for the real toys!), something that won't potentially break off inside you (why candles might not be a good idea; you don't want bits of wax flaking off in your vagina), and something that is either clean and safe for your body or is covered in a condom/Saran wrap to keep you safe from infection. If you're using the dildoesque object anally, you preferably want it very long or with some sort of base or bigger end so that it won't get lost up your tushie. Mostly, you just want to take care. My best advice would be a time-honored tradition: phallic vegetables. They're cheap, they're all-natural (no nasty phthalates), you can throw them away when you're done, and nobody will know they're your sex toys. I also love the fact that you can grab a vegetable peeler and pare down the perfect-sized dildo for yourself- something you just can't do when it's already cast in silicone. I'd recommend firm to semi-firm stuff- cucumbers are classic, as are smaller zucchinis and carrots. Bananas are deliciously phallic as imagery, but I find them too mushy when peeled, and their edges occasionally pokey when unpeeled. But, you know, just experiment, and always house them and other foodstuffs (kielbasa sausage, hot dogs, whatever) in condoms or other protective gear. And whatever else you might happen to use- hairbrush handle, curling iron (careful!), etc., etc., just take care. And be imaginative! It isn't too hard- you start thinking about it, and pretty soon, dildo-capable objects just jump out in your vision!
4) Cock rings. Putting something tight around your sensitive bits that wasn't created specifically for that purpose seems more than a little scary, especially when you hear about stories like this and that. For right now, I'd suggest not going with metal . . . wait 'til you get some experience under your belt or can buy professional cock rings that are meant to go around your dick. But until then, you might try experimenting with rubber bands, which mimick the stretchy and flexible cock rings that newbies should be using. I only caution against the tiny, skinny, flimsy rubber bands- you don't want to have them slicing painfully into your cock, or, God forbid, any snapping! Instead, go for those nice, big, thick rubberbands- like the ones that come wrapped around broccoli. Wrap around cock and balls to keep blood there, letting you last longer as well as giving you that great sensation!
5) Hands-free penetration. If I had 1) more trust in my readers' mechanical capabilities, and 2) any mechanical ability myself, I'd try to explain how to make a homemade fucking machine with a few pieces of modified equipment and a lot of ingenuity. Given that I have neither and I don't want any serious injuries, I like my options for hands-free penetration. You can always turn whatever you're using as a dildo into a suction-base dildo using one of these nifty suction-cup wall hangers (found at any home goods or hardware store)- they're particularly good with disposable dildos like veggie ones, where you can make holes in them without potentially ruining a good homemade toy- just plunk a cucumber onto the hook and suction the base onto a chair, table, bathtub, wall, whatever! Another option would be a favorite of mine- the wine bottle. Well, okay, I'm 21- and before that, my parents drank a lot of wine. But you aren't at a loss- go for the similar-shaped bottles of Martinelli's sparkling cider! (Yum!) Lots of folks like using slender (or not so slender) glass bottles like dildos, but what I love about the wine bottle is its height- which makes it the perfect length to use your crooked-up leg to push it in. You can hump your body into it or work those calf muscles to pump the slender end (or, for you size queens, the larger end) into whatever orifice you choose (seems to work best with vaginal, though), leaving your hands free for clitoral stimulation, holding some porn/erotica, text-messaging (you multi-tasker, you!), whatever. Just be sure to wash it out first.
6) Safe sex and lube. Luckily, everybody can buy safe sex stuff. Run down to your local drugstore, or heck, forgo paying for it and go to your Planned Parenthood or free clinic. But if you still worry that you'll get pointed out for it- if you're in a small town and you know Betty who rings up your condoms and KY Jelly is going to tell your Aunt Mavis who will tell your mother- there are still some options for you. You can definitely buy yourself some nice latex gloves without anyone being the wiser- to wear as is, or to be cut open to provide a nice flat surface that can be used like a dental dam. Of, if you're really hard-pressed, get out the Saran wrap! Just stretch it over whatever body part it is that needs covering, and enjoy. Only remember not to use the special new kinds made for microwaving- they are full of tiny, microscopic holes that are meant to let out steam- and will let through all sorts of germs and, potentially, diseases. As for lube, well, folks have all sorts of preferences- from some generic lotion to olive oil (!), and various other lubricants. It all depends on what you're using the lube for and what you're sensitive/allergic to. But since the type of play that pretty much requires lube is anal play, my vote for good anal lubricant would be some old-fashioned Crisco. It's thick and lasts long, and best of all, you can grab a spoonful for your butt one day and a 1/2 a cup the next for a batch of cookies. Of course, you MUST NOT use Crisco (or any other oil-based lubes like baby oil, Vaseline, and hand-lotions) if you want to practice safe sex; they will "eat through" latex condoms, rendering them useless in protecting you. But for some solo play- enjoy your Crisco! And also, let's not forget how well plain ol' saliva (a.k.a. spit) works- it's copious and free!
Getting Your Hands On Real Sex Toys
* Dealing with deliveries. Sex toy retailers do their best to make your purchases anonymous in their plain brown paper packaging, but all that doesn't help if your parents are anxiously peering over your shoulder asking "What'd you get there, honey? Is that a package? Oooh, what's inside?" (or perhaps the more hostile "What did you order?!?"). Of course, it's great if you can send it to an understanding friend's house or something like that, but we can't always do that. But there's a great recourse: P.O. boxes. Any Post Office can offer you a P.O. Box, whether you're 13 or 35- so long as you have the money and a valid ID, student or otherwise. According to the United States Postal Office, ". . . service may be provided to minors unless parents or guardians submit a written objection to the postmaster". Which means, essentially, that if your parents don't tell the postmaster they don't want you to have it, you're in the free and clear. They're relatively cheap (starting at $10), and you can have packages delivered to the address, to be picked up later by you. Nobody's the wiser, and you win!
* Paying for it. Lately teenagers may have credit cards, but many still don't- or if they do, they're monitored by their parents. And many don't have checks, either. So what's a fledgling youngster supposed to do when they've got the cash, but can't step foot inside the store to pay for the goods? This is where money orders come in handy. You can get them anywhere, really- Walmart, the Post Office, banks, whatever. They work essentially like checks, except that you provide the dough up front. There's no age requirement- if you have the money, you're good! It's simple, effective, and many online retailers accept money orders along with checks and credit cards.
So, that's it. Youth is a precious time, but it certainly comes with its drawbacks. But I maintain that part of the charm is that scrouging around for a way to channel/release your massive doses of horniness and hormones, using what you have, and bringing all that energy into creative sex toys. By golly, boys come up with the darndest things to add some fun to their masturbation- just go browse Jackinworld. Girls should have just as many resources, and overall, kids should know how to safely approach any masturbatory aids until society acknowledges that a 16 year-old deserves access to sex toys if he/she wants them, too.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Pink & White Productions is giving you updates on their new movie, "Champion".
Yes, that's right, Pink & White Productions is busy producing their fourth feature film, "Champion: The Movie", all about MMA fighter Jessie (a.k.a. smokin' porn hottie Shawn). Yes, I'm incredibly excited. You should be, too! Work up your appetite for the film by catching little snippets on their production blog, which has updates, pictures, and, coolest of all, CLIPS!!! *Giddy squee*.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
The 'Fantastic Four' actress doesn't think it is fair that men's magazines are packed with pictures of virtually nude women, while the publications she reads don't have any naked guys in them. Jessica said inan interview with Britain's GQ magazine: "Men's magazines have nipples so why don't women have a magazine where men show their penises? There's Playgirl but not a fashion magazine like Elle. "If there was a magazine like that I'd buy it. Nudity's not a big deal to me." Although the 26-year-old star won't strip off on screen, she likes to see other people bare all in the name of entertainment. She explained: "I've said I won't go naked in any of my movies, because I don't want to. But that doesn't mean I don't want to see other people strip off!"
Completely agreed, Jessica, and kudos to you for noting the unfair discrepancy, as well as for having the guts to come out and say you like to see others strip, and that you'd buy a magazine for its penis content.
The rest of the media seems enamored with her- she's got what they call sway. Maybe folks will listen to her and I can open up "Elle" and find nude hunks. Fingers crossed!
There are few things I hate, and even fewer that I hate with a passion.
Having said, that, I utterly hate the TV show "What Not To Wear". (For those not in the know, the show is about when "friends" and family volunteer or, perhaps better said, subject, the supposedly poor-dressed victim to a fashion analysis, recommendations, a makeover, and a $5,000 budget for new clothes, on the condition that everything in the old closet has to go).
My mother loves it with a passion. Every Friday night, I struggle for all of 30 seconds to stay for her sake, for that coveted mother-daughter bond. But I just can't. I have to literally, physically, haul my body from the room.
Why do I hate it so?
Maybe it's because fashion isn't exactly objective. What constitutes "fashionable" is largely based in the hands of those with the power to tell you that you look ridiculous or great. Fashion definitely isn't static- you're bound to get laughed at if you wear today something considered fashionable twenty years ago (or, in some social circles, just a month ago). And what's more, fashion is personal. Clothing is not just something you put on to hide, or more likely today, to give tantalizing teases of, your nakedness. Everything that somebody puts on is a choice and those choices include quite a bit more than just "I like this." or "This looks good.". In light of fashion's deeply personal nature, its subjectivity, and its ephemeralness, how can the show rightly counsel others?
Or maybe it's not even that which bugs me so. Maybe it's the show's very attitude. Instead of presenting itself as a helpful "Hey, maybe that's not so flattering for you, what about this?" type of show, one solving the true, un-arguable fashion faux pas of the world (socks with sandals, big, beautiful girls who hide their pretty and voluptuous shapes with jeans that give them the horror only known as "muffin top", etc.), they prey on their female victims like hungry vultures. Once they've finished picking the bones clean, they've finally arrived at their goal: a woman identical to a store mannequin- not only in dress, but in cardboard personality, too. And all with the biting, acidic sarcasm that is sure to turn a happy, bubbly, confident-in-her-own-clothes girl into a scared and beaten-down shell of herself, feeling so pathetic that she'll clamp onto any advice they give her. Hey, whatever gets you ratings, right?
These women do not come on the show voluntarily. They are not the ones who have issues with their clothing. But like most "fix it" solutions, the answer is not to treat the people who have the actual issues (those "friends" and family members who suggest the show's weekly stars)- it's to make the non-conformists fit in, lest we all have to deal with our own discomfort. I wouldn't have a single problem with the show if the gals came there saying "Hey, I know that I don't really have a good eye for fashion, and I think you do, could you give me a makeover and give me some pointers?". I probably still wouldn't find it very entertaining nighttime lineup television, but at least I wouldn't have so many hangups about it.
Everytime I hear the intro to the show, I am delighted by the "befores"- girls who relish their clothing and style choices, whether it's that one low-cut top that makes her feel sexy and confident but others tell her is too slutty, or that ratty old sweater she's had for decades that feels and smells like home and comfort, or the kind of baggy stuff she wears because it's comfortable and it hides the parts of her body she'd rather not put on display, or that one really weird print dress covered with monkeys that she keeps because it's fun and kooky and she likes how freewheeling she feels in it. It's not to say that I agree that these things are fashionable . . . oftentimes, they're utterly ridiculous or they just look plain bad. But they make these girls feel happy.
Or perhaps another pet peeve is the emphasis on femininity. As far as the show's hosts are considered, it is the goal of every woman to be the epitome of Woman, with a capital W. Time and time again, on maybe every other show, is the claim that so-and-so has lost (or more like, never had) her femininity. Without getting into a giant argument of what constitutes "femininity" (does it have to be a skirt and a floral print top?), I'm tired of women being told that if they don't emphasize their T&A that they're somehow hiding their "feminine assets". Pity the tomboy who gets plucked to be on the show- she doesn't have a chance. Any resistance is futile, because everything is countered with a rash of psychobabble analysis.
If you express discomfort in wearing snug, fitted clothes that hug your curves, you hate your body (and are forced to go through a self-love, look-at-yourself-in-the-mirror therapy session). If you don't want to give up your more revealing and snug outfits, you're a trailer trash slut. If you'd rather cover up those "feminine assets" or wear tomboyish or outright masculine clothing, you "aren't in touch with your sexy self". Disagree with the chosen outfits they've selected for you to try on? You must still be brainwashed into your old, incorrect style. And by God, if you think you ought be wearing clothing that pleases you, instead of pleasing others, well, you really are just beyond anybody's help, at that point.
I swear, I'm not anti-fashion. Heck, back in the day, I used to own a whole, stuffed-tight box full of those "girlie" magazines- Seventeen, Cosmo, you name it, and I remember pouring over them obsessively. Even though I was hardly a feminine girl and had about as much fashion sense as a rock (my daily junior high uniform: one of many identical neon-bright V-neck tank tops, a pair of denim shorts, and flat sandals), I loved flipping through the lovely pictures and reading up on this and that and oh, how lovely wouldn't it be if you paired them together? I still have that little fashionista inside of me. She (or is my inner fashion lover a totally queeny and well-dressed he?) doesn't dictate what I wear or buy, but she comes out to appreciate others' ensembles and she watches "Project Runway" religiously.
I guess I just come from a line of folks who had different ideas. Both of my grandmothers were admirable lasses- the one who adamantly hated bras and was apt not to wear them, and the other, who sewed up her own hats- outrageously loud and colorful printed material bunched into wacky shapes that almost never looked even halfway decent- and then wore them in public. I remember them fondly. There are more stories to the pictures of them than of my own mother, who will get a deserved nod and a "She always was a nice dresser." before moving on to frankly more interesting topics.Am I crazy because I don't want to pay $20 for a shirt that has somebody else's name on it- because I effectively don't want to become a walking advertisement without getting paid for it? Am I crazy because I'd rather spend an hour in a bookstore instead of at "Forever 21"? Am I fashion-unconscious because I choose function over form or because the things that I find beautiful might get described by others as "too much"? Does it make me certifiably mental to believe that there just might be more than one style or fashion that people can identify by?
I even wrote this story just to get rid of some of my frustrations over these types of shows.
All I can say is that if anybody- and I do mean anybody- tried to get me on this show, there'd be only one response: I'd look right in the camera, extend that arm and then that middle finger, and reply with a big grin: "Fuck you." And yes, I've warned everyone I know, and I'm warning you all now, too.
So go ahead, cringe when I walk by. I don't mind it, honestly, because I like whatever it is I choose to wear. Go ahead and give me some of your fashion advice. I might give you some advice, too- like to mind your own business.
I've been spending a little bit of time lately going through my old porn DVD's and getting reacquainted with them- re-familiarizing myself with the hotness I'd forgotten they had. I had popped in an old standby, "Real Butch Dyke Lesbians", which, despite its rather uncreative name, cheesy tagline ("Do not fuck with these dykes! They hate men! They want pussy!"), and its fishy, I-sense-exploitative-fake-lezzie-porn box cover, actually houses some very hot and real, if a little dated, butch lesbian dyke action.
But what really got me was seeing, again, the "Warning" section that came up before the actual video. Once I saw it, I instantly remembered how impressed I had been with it then, and I wanted to share it with you now. Here it is, reprinted in full, word-for-word:
Warning! Mojo Home Video manufactures videos for the sole purpose of adult fantasy entertainment and to better help sexually educate the public. The video you are about to watch presents fictional accounts of sexual relations designed solely for the purposes of adult fantasy entertainment and sex education. This video presents the ideas that sex and the expression of sexual conduct are very important parts of adult relationships. This video is meant to serve as a pictoral record of the different methods and expressions of sexual conduct. There are many different sexual problems and issues, especially when it comes to the idea of sexual expressions; this video has been manufactured to help provide a forum to open these ideas of expression and to open communication. Please be advised that the fictional sexual relationships found in this video do not always exhibit intimacy, sensitivity, communication, and other traits that are most important in real life adult relationsihps. The people in this video may or may not be engaging in safe sex. Regarless of that choice, we are very strong advocates of the practice of safe sex. We strongly encourage you to educate yourself regarding safe sex before engaging in sexual activity. You can find this information very easily online or at your local library. For more information about safe sex and intimacy, you can also email us. We are happy to help!
All this scrolled down at a slow and leisurely pace so you could read it, followed by the old, usual and required standard "All models filmed were 18 at the time blah blah blah". But I've simply never seen another porn video or company, no matter how conscientious, with a warning/introduction that was even half that.
Who is/was Mojo Video? I can't find much about them in my quick and dirty Google searches. They were also the producers/releasers of some other, shall we say, interesting titles, like "Bed Bug Bitches", "World's Biggest Whores", "Amber the Lesbian Queefer", and "Bitches and Hos". Were these videos also preceded by the same great intro as "Real Butch Dyke Lesbians"? Who was the mastermind who said "Let's write the truth about our porn for viewers, and do a little education while we're at it?"? Where have you gone, Mojo?
In today's day and age, I sometimes worry that with all the consumption of porn that either has misogynistic and/or degrading and violent undertones or outright messages (particularly if said porn is not BDSM-related), the impressionable youngsters of today's age are getting a message that this is what sex is really like. Heck, it can even be nice, tame, respectful porn, and I still worry, because it rarely shows any degree of reality in terms of real, average bodies, getting to sex, negotiating sex, safe sex usage, and especially real female pleasure and what women really orgasm from. And no matter how people may scoff, underage kids (and adults!) are curious and horny as hell, and lots of them turn to the only recourse they have- porn, free and copious on the Internet- to learn about anatomy, bodies, and sex. It's hardly even easy for some adults to remember that sex doesn't usually work the way it does in porn- pizza delivery boys do not get fucked in lieu of payment and you generally have to treat a woman a certain way (polite, with respect, taking your time) to get her to bed you. I can't remember where I read it, but I know there was a survey/research done that showed that porn consumers, when polled, believed that things like anal sex, facials, and BDSM were more prevalent in the real world than those who didn't consume porn. Obviously, no matter what we may tell ourselves, we can fall prey to the idea that what we're watching is real- particularly in Gonzo-style, breaking-the-fourth-wall, cameraman talking to the actors, type of stuff that makes it feel like it's in real time, uninterfered-with, and ultimately, like it's been documented, Nature Channel style.
I wonder . . . would it change if every porn video and website out there took just a moment to tell their viewers "Hey, this ain't real, it's just a fantasy we've produced for you, so enjoy, and remember that sex outside your TV screen or computer requires a totally different approach."? It certainly couldn't hurt, right?
That's my thought for today. I'd be thrilled if I popped in another DVD and found a similar statement. Sigh. One can hope, right?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
I'm not blog-savvy; though I skim through a lot of them, I don't have the energy of other professional Net searchers who somehow read everybody's everything. And there are many good ones I don't read, but that I know about. But they're so famous that you should be able to find them yourself! (Okay, hint for you lazy folks: Violet Blue's "Tiny Nibbles", Susie Bright's blog, Babeland's blog, etc.). Here's what I'm reading when I'm not blogging:
1) Marty Klein's blog Sexual Intelligence. I've never disagreed with a single thing that Marty has written, and that's saying something. You want incredibly straight-forward, commonsensical commentary on the meet between sex and politics? He's your man. The first blog I always check, and the one that inspires me when I feel drowned in anti-porn, sex-negative, free-speech-quelling propaganda, and reminds me that not everyone is an idiot.
2) Fleshbot.com. You know those aforementioned Net surfers who somehow know about everything? Yeah, I was pretty much talking about Fleshbot, because I wouldn't know anything about what's going on in the porn/adult world if it weren't for them. Plus they're witty and smart and I love how they talk in the first plural person. I wish there were two of me so that I could use "We" and "our" in my blogs! But seriously, they know their stuff, and it's informative, entertaining, fun, and, oh yes, super sexy.
3) Willam Belli's fun As Long As There Are Sidewalks, I'll Have A Job blog. Just like some people need their daily shot of coffee, I need a hit or two of potent drag queeny/tranny wit and sarcasm and a heavy dose of "Uh-uh, miss thang!" bitchy commentary from the frontlines of Hollywood, California. Willam's just funny, and between going to auditions, spotting and hob-knobbing with celebrities, running a go-go boy business on the side, and otherwise being fabulous, well, you can't go wrong. The Tranny McGovern star has my heart.
4) Behind Kink.com's Video Bloggy Newsy Behind-The-Scenes Thing. I adore Kink.com with all my heart. They could probably shoot porn videos involving baby's blood being used as an enema on top of the smoldering ashes of the last remains of the rain forest, and I'd still love them for their artistry, positive values, good treatment of models, etc., etc. (okay, okay, so baby's blood is going a little far. But seriously, they almost make me stomach it.). They just rock. And I love behind-the-scenes looks at anything. And it's free. And it's cool. So much fun to take a look at what's going on in their queer little corner- I mean, giant armory- of San Francisco.
5) Eros Blog. I stumbled upon them quite by accident, but with a Firefly quote in the top left corner ("So, no more running. I aim to misbehave.") that instantly won me over, tons of great links to other sites and blogs with similar principles, and often insightful commentary and lots of pretty and fun pictures, I check it often, and am never let down.
6) Jiz Lee's blog. It's like a great three-in-one combination: 1 part personal, behind-the-scenes, insider information all about Crashpadseries.com and queer porn in general, 1 part deep thoughts and smart commentary on various porn/sex/queer issues, and 1 part links and news that I'm always undoubtedly interested in. Mix, read, enjoy. And it doesn't hurt that when you have as big a crush as I do, reading these intimate writings are just pure joy. Also, Jiz has my blog as a link! How rockin' is that? So go and read, because I demand it. (Oh, and by the way, the next time you want to buy some porn or sex toys, go to her (his? ze's? I'm not up to date on preferred pronouns at this point) blog and use those links, because they donate a little bit!
7) The Pro-Porn Activism Blog. With scary sites and blogs out there like One Angry Girl and Charliegrrrl, thank goodness there's a resource out there like the Pro-Porn Activism blog. These folks know what they're doing, and they do it well. There are so many occasions when anti-porn news and laws might have slipped right under my radar if it weren't for this blog.
8) The Blog Of "Unnecessary" Quotes. Okay, so this has nothing to do with sex or porn at all. But it's too funny. People who know me are familiar with my fickle fascination with grammar and being correct. It just gives my inner grammarian a tickle. Are you misusing quotation marks?
9) Julie Serano's Blog-Born-Blog. She blew me away with her book "Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity", and I welcome every bit of insight she can throw my way with her blog. Sometimes she's scary in her intensity, and I love it.
10) Eros Zine. Where does a blog end and a zine begin? I'm not quite sure if this one qualifies, but nonetheless, it's amazing. It introduced me to a lot of people, and actually, it was a review of "The Crash Pad" on there that influenced me to buy the movie. Can you imagine if I hadn't have found this site? They're trans-inclusive, sex-positive up the wazoo, and have great articles, interviews, erotica, you name it. Although, if anyone can tell me- is the site still active? It seems to have gone dead as of late . . . even so, there's tons of great older stuff to rifle through.
So there. Top ten. You know, come to think of it, I really should just put up some links on the side bars of my blog. Why don't I do that? Maybe I'm just scared there will be too many great sites that I can't fit in and don't want to ignore or leave anyone out!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Calling all dyke artists! Where are you? Hello? Ello, ello, ello. (Yes, that's right, that's the echo in the giant vacuum of erotic lesbian artistry, or at least the kind I can frame on my wall).
Anyways, this is not meant to be a rant blog. It's meant to be a celebratory blog! Celebratory, that is, in my discovery of the dee-licious drawing series "Tom Girls" by G.B. Jones, which follow in the style and footsteps of Tom Of Finland, but which interest me way more (interesting what difference a pair of breasts can make, eh?). If some of these girls were sporting strap-ons, I'd be in heaven.
I don't even want to write any more. The pictures speak for themselves (although I could definitely be persuaded to write some erotic fiction to accompany them).
Before I go, though, I would like to note that G.B. Jones is a totally talented chick and I've only singled her out here for a mere few drawings. She also has several really cool films and documentaries, books and zines, and music. Look her up!
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