Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Whaddya Mean, Male Pornstars Like Girl-On-Girl Action?

I find it quite weird that I'm blogging yet again about Lindsay Lohan, but she's in the news and I find it significant, ergo, here goes.

Apparently over the Christmas break, BBC broadcast a radio show with DJ Spoony and legendary porn star Ron Jeremy, offering up "The Most Annoying People Of 2008" with all sorts of commentary thrown in there. Now it's being accused of being homophobic and sexist.

The heinous words spoken?

From Spoony: "Let the munters and mingers get each other - that's cool because no-one really wants them. But when they're hot and fit and Hollywood superstars, they should be saved for guys."

From Ron: "These two girls are very good-looking. I would love to be in the middle of that: They will do each other, do me, do each other, do me, back and forth. All of a sudden, you do a pop and it is over. The polite thing to do is to pop on both of them. Men are wishing they could be with her and change her mind, thinking 'Yeah, she is a lesbian now because she never met me.'" (I'd also throw in there that Ron said in May of 2008 that he'd like to see Lindsay Lohan's sex tape, and there was no hullabaloo over that).

Granted, Spoony's British slang sounds all homophobicky at first, since I've no idea what a munter or a minger is. Urban Dictionary tells me they are essentially ugly women, not even a reference to unattractive lesbians a la the American "bulldyke" or some such. It's still incredibly offensive, but I have to ask- what do you expect?

Seriously- what the hell do you expect? I can't believe that people are "shocked" by these guys repeating what is blatantly pushed at us from nearly every media source: that lesbianism isn't a real orientation, that lesbian sex is not "real sex" (whatever that means), that women are essentially around for men's pleasure, and that lesbian and bisexual couples are incredibly open to inviting men into their beds and relationships. If all the porn that you see portrays lesbian and bisexual women in such a way, you're going to get a certain mindset. Then you can tell yourself "Nah, it's just porn, that's not real life.", but then the mainstream media tells you pretty much the same thing. These aren't two crass individuals out of touch with society (as, say, Don Imus was). This is a clear and perfect example of how in-touch with a national heterosexual mindset as could possibly be.

And as for Ron Jeremy's "graphic" statements, which for a porn star, show a remarkable restraint in the language!, I'm curious as to how it would go over if a lesbian commentator talked about how she wanted to be in a threesome with the girls and squirt all over both of them. Of course, it'd still be a big issue over indecency, but would gay rights activists be furious about it? Or would they celebrate it? How about if an all-girl radio show lamented the fact that, as we've heard so many times "all the good guys are gay" and "what a waste it is that he's gay" and "smart, handsome guys like that should be saved for us girls!". I might be wrong, but I'm betting there'd be little fanfare over such a statement.

I'm not saying it isn't a little crude. I'm not saying it's respectful and sweet (although, really, when you're calling out "The Most Annoying People Of 2008", the whole thing really isn't that respectful, right?). What I'm saying is that I have pretty much the exact same fantasy as Ron Jeremy, and if I got the chance to put that offer out there on the air waves, you better believe I'd do it in a heartbeat. Why does that make me a delightfully sexually liberated woman, but Ron Jeremy is a "sexist pig"?

Jiz Lee has been writing some very provocative stuff of late addressing that whole well-worn issue of "the male gaze", wherein straight guys fetishize lesbianism, and, according to a legion of old-school feminists, take away queer women's power and exploits them and yada yada yada. Jiz's take on it- that the gender of the people jerking off to you in fact can give you more power- is rather refreshing. I utterly agree, and, moreover, find it pretty damn cool that Ron Jeremy wants to roll in the hay with not just feminine Lindsay but also boyish or even butch Sam. It's a nice confirmation that genderfucky women are sexually attractive (not that we needed Ron Jeremy or any man to tell US that). And this isn't Ron Jeremy pulling strings and making fake G/G porn . . . it's commentary on two real-life women in a relationship. He can't rob them of their power by telling people he imagines three-ways with them.

I was quite interested when I clicked on the headlines, but in the end, this is pretty weak tea. Yes, it's offensive to say that fit and sexy women should be saved for the men. But my jaw's not on the ground at the supposed "blatant homophobia and sexism". I'm still slack-jawed at the idea that people can't see that this is all around them, that there is a pervasive attitude that creates comments like DJ Spoony's in its mildest cases and rape in its most horrific.

But of course this radio broadcast won't be framed like that- because how can you vilify an entire culture? Who would you call out? Gay rights activists will denounce it, lesbians will call Ron Jeremy a pig (but praise Pat Califia for fantasizing about gay men). And we will take our two scapegoats who said what a good deal of men would agree with, and hang them out to dry. Ugh.

I'll end with this: for me the most offensive aspect about the whole thing is the fact that Ron Jeremy would like to have a threesome with two people he agrees are some of "the most annoying people of 2008". Sex with someone whose personality you find completely repulsive is apparently not half as bad as graphically lusting after lesbians.

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