Monday, August 18, 2008

Is Lindsay Lohan A Lesbian?

Honestly, I could care less.

Actually, I do care a little bit . . . why does the media and collective world around me insist on using the word "lesbian" (or "gay") to describe people who have actively had opposite-sex relationships? Sappho, Oscar Wilde, and now Lindsay Lohan. The girl's dated a handful of boys (Aaron Carter, Wilmer Valderrama, Harry Morton, Calum Best, Riley Giles), so it's obviously just a ploy to capitalize on the shock factor of the L-word. Ah, when will bisexuality get some well-deserved publicity that isn't of the horrendous Katy Perry type?

But once again, I'm like an ADD-addled kid. That wasn't my point at all. Back to the question ("Is Lindsay Lohan lesbian/bisexual?") and my complete and total apathy for the answer.

So why am I blogging about it, you might ask?

Well, it's quite simple- it has nothing to do with Lohan, who hasn't registered on my radar since "The Parent Trap" (okay, okay, and the guilty pleasure that was her first hit, "Rumors"), or with celebrity girl-on-girl extravaganzas . . . it's because the lez-beau in question shocked me quite a bit by her, well, butchness.

Every time my eyes wander away from the staring contest the Snickers bar and I are having at the checkout counter to glance the trashy tabloids, there's inevitably some girl kissing some other girl. It's unremarkable- they're both gorgeous femmes, it almost always looks staged, and if it wasn't, there was probably a good deal of alcohol and drugs involved as well. Ugh.

So I studiously stayed away from the rumors I was hearing about Lindsay Lohan (you know, mostly because my general impression was (is?) "skank" when I'm feeling mean, and at best a grudging "poor, messed-up kid" when I'm feeling generous). But somehow I managed to stumble over a picture of Lohan and the rumored girlfriend, and my jaw dropped.

Sam/Samantha Ronson is a total butch lesbian. Or, if you're going to get picky about it, at the very least, andro or "futch". She doesn't look like a girly Hollywood girl. She looks tough, punk (as a DJ'ing gal should be), and she has dyke appeal up the wazoo.

Butch has never had it so good since Portia snagged up Ellen and left all the straight, mainstream folk scratching their heads in confusion, or, for the younger crowd, Tila Tequila showed more interest in Dani Campbell than a house full of Barbie dolls.

Various media sources are all a-frenzy, from conspiracy theories of a publicity grab, that the gals are just friends, and whatnot. I can't say I really care. For once, people are talking about lesbian celebrity kisses, and it kind of seems more authentic than usual. People are talking about a butch gal, and it's not steroetypical or derogatory. And whether the love is real, or fake, or something that will later be deemed a "mistake" by publicists, maybe a few people can think about how butches can be sexy, wonderful partners, if a famous, sexy chick like Lindsay wants herself one.

And that's enough to make me happy.

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