Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Drag Queen Dreams

Anybody who knows me knows that I hate wearing makeup. I mean, the odds are already stacked against me:

1) It takes time. And, if you're going to do it right, at least a good fifteen minutes. I love sleep. I'd rather have a good fifteen minutes of extra sleep than having to haul my butt out of bed to apply what will presumably rub off my face two hours later. Yeah, I'm lazy.

2) Directly relatedo to #1 and linked by the laziness is the fact that I can be somewhat iffy on showers and washing my face; often I just crash into bed at the end of a long day. Easy to forget makeup, which likes to be washed off . . . and presto, you have instant, unforgiveable acne!

3) I hate the way it feels. I like to be comfortable- everywhere. Hair down and natural (no stiff, gelled-up locks I can't run my fingers through), loose clothes, flat shoes, and I can hardly even stand my bra. Makeup literally feels greasy and heavy on my face; I can't stand it.

4) I don't want to be self-conscious. My few forays of wearing makeup, particularly eye makeup, have shown that I touch my face a lot. If I want to leave it unmarred, I have to concentrate on it, and that makes me a whole lot less laid-back and happy.

5) It's expensive. At least, the good stuff is. And I'd rather spend my money on books, movies, CD's, porn, and food.

6) It makes me look less like myself. Just like lots of people are unrecognizable without their makeup, I look like a different person, and what's more, everybody wonders why. All of the sudden it becomes "Oh, you look pretty today! What's the occasion?". And when I have none, I feel foolish. Moreover, I don't want to suddenly be a slave to makeup, having to wear it lest people judge made-up me to non-made-up me. And of course, I'm not going to be one of those ridiculous girls who put on makeup only to have it look like I'm wearing none.

And there are more reasons. But that's why I just don't want to wear makeup on a regular basis. Having said all of that, though . . .

I fucking love playing dress-up. There's nothing like having a free afternoon and getting the old urge to rifle through my cosmetic pots to come up with something crazy, wild, and unapologetically queer. So I thought I'd share some fun "drag queen"-style shots I got when I did a little impromptu photoshoot after playing dress-up. They came out so suprisingly good . . . even if they don't look hardly drag queeny (Sigh. How can I get the great makeup skills they have?).

If I was feeling more up to it, I'd make this post deep and introspective- all about how my love of over-the-top makeup is probably hiding interesting issues of fear of femininity and competition with women, and how my identification with drag queens hints at discomfort with acknowledging my female gender or maybe is an attempt to trivialize femme urgings that I feel are too "mainstream" for a wacked-out girl who desperately wants to be read as queer.

But I'm too tired for that. Concentrate on pretty pictures, instead.

1 comment:

Mary said...

Just tossing this out there... speaking as "one of those ridiculous girls who put on makeup only to have it look like I'm wearing none," there actually IS a reason for doing that! It's not quite as senseless as you make it sound!

The idea, essentially, is to idealize your face. You don't use a lot of makeup or a lot of unnatural colors, you just bring out the best in what you naturally have. So when I go out or go to work, I don't look "made-up" at all. I just look like myself - but myself after a full night's sleep (rare), a healthy diet, no acne, no pallor or sunburn, and enough free time and money to use all those fancy treatments that are supposed to give me flawless skin. :) I suppose you could say that makeup is how I cheat.

However, I'm right there with you on hating stuff that feels unnatural or greasy, or that means I can't touch my face! Blech. Even out my skin tone, make my eyes look bigger, brighten up my smile? Sure. Anything more? I'll pass. (Unless, like you, I'm playing dress-up!)