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Showing posts with label MtF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MtF. Show all posts
Monday, November 10, 2008
Gender-Bending, Squared
It's a common misconception by those not-in-the-know, I think, that drag queens are simply men who want to be women, and drag kings are simply women who want to be men. The non-queer community has a pretty difficult time differentiating between all those similar T-words- transgender, transsexual, transvestite. Don't even get 'em started on transfags or transdykes! So there's a tendency to believe that if 
you like dressing up and acting like the opposite sex, the only possible reason is because of deep-seated desires to become that sex.Well, cross-dressing transfolk and transfolk in drag totally put that to shame. And I decided to give them some blogspace, to combat the above silly idea (as well as because I find it wonderfully hot and deliciously subversive).
Even though FtM Dan, here in these pictures, (lifted from Photographer Richard A. Chase's journal Commentaries and Love Letters", where you can find a wonderful description of Dan, as well as his own words), is cross-dressing as part of neither a kink nor a drag routine, but instead almost as a way to revisit his past, it's still somewhat incredible to see. If you get confused at the idea of a straight crossdressing man, get ready for your head to spin at Dan- a guy who used to be a girl, dressed in girl's clothes.FtM Adrian Dalton, however, is dressing up in women's clothes for the stage, and his drag persona, the lovely, campy Miss Lola, appears below at roughly 5:49.
If you scour the Internet for MtF drag kings, you do find a few, and they all seem think they're the only ones (yes, we totally need to get them together). The most famous, perhaps, is Brooklynne M. Thomas, who performs as drag king persona U.B. Mackin and his sister persona, Pandora Paradox. But Brooklynne rocks most in my eyes for her brilliant rationale for being a transwoman drag king, "Dissection Of A MtF Drag King".
And let us not forget the wonderful Traci Klawes, who tours with the drag king troupe The Milton Kings and the Tranny Roadshow as Willie P. Fister.
And here's transwoman Natalie practices her drag king routine (her persona is the cleverly-named Isa Jak Ingov).
I just adore all these crazy gender-benders, whose donning of drag is only more of a confirmation that transsexuality is a genetic thing- about the body (and a profound statement on our gender duality- the masculinity and femininity within all of us). Plus, they're SEX-AY!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
The Mangina Man's Story Deepens
Remember when I blogged about Xtube's Mangina Man? Well, ever since he posted a small video clip from MSNBC about his transition, I had been searching for more information, but to no avail. I had to admit I had some doubts that I tried to cast away. The main pictures provided were either of a clothed chest or one in a harness that conveniently covered the area under the pecs, where most transmen have their masectomy/breast removal scars. His profile proudly paints him as a man born male-bodied, who chose to get penile inversion surgery to create a vagina/mangina, because well, he wanted it. I wanted to believe, but the naggling skeptic in the back of my mind wondered if we had a transman here, trying, perhaps, in internalized self-hatred and transphobia, to erase his female-bodied past.
Then, today, I found Mangina Man had posted the direct link to this MSNBC documentary "Born In The Wrong Body: A Change Of Heart", and, after some watching, the pieces started coming together. His tale is actually a lot deeper and more nuanced than some dude getting a pussy on a whim.
The Mangina Man was raised male and he did get penile inversion surgery. But in fact, he was born intersexed and underwent infantile surgery to remove his ambiguous genitalia. Later in life, he would change his sex as part of your average MtF transition to female. And he spent 20 years living as a woman before realizing he wanted to be male once again. Looking back, there are no lies up on his page, but this big chunk does seem to be missing. Not that I can blame him. It's hard enough explaining one's transsexuality to your average layperson. Try explaining your transition to the opposite gender, and then your transition back again to a person unfamiliar with transsexuality or intersexuality.
So if you thought Mangina Man's story was unique before, this makes him probably the most unique guy, ever. (Well, not that unique- the documentary includes another guy who went through the exact same changes). I don't know what kept/keeps his Xtube profile somewhat ambiguous- curbing stupid and hateful comments and questions? Keeping the mystery alive or wanting to share such deep and personal history with individuals you are interested in getting to know (and not just the whole word)? Is it shame?
All I can say is- there's nothing to be ashamed about. I'm still in awe of you, Mangina Man, even more than ever. I think trans people are amazing for being who they are despite what the world tells them. I can't imagine the criticism and fights you went up against in being who you are a second time, this time perhaps from both cisgender and transgender communities. I think it's amazing you shared your story in so many places- perhaps providing the information and example to those who have transitioned and felt regret, but were told it was normal, that they ought forget those twinges, and that transitioning back would be crazy and wrong. You're incredible.
You can also watch a little bit of his story in Tom Murray's documentary "Almost Myself", and, if you're lucky enough, the Murray Povich show's reruns.
The documentary "A Change Of Heart" is truly interesting, regardless of who you are and whether you care about Mangina Man- I suggest everyone give it a watch.
Then, today, I found Mangina Man had posted the direct link to this MSNBC documentary "Born In The Wrong Body: A Change Of Heart", and, after some watching, the pieces started coming together. His tale is actually a lot deeper and more nuanced than some dude getting a pussy on a whim.
The Mangina Man was raised male and he did get penile inversion surgery. But in fact, he was born intersexed and underwent infantile surgery to remove his ambiguous genitalia. Later in life, he would change his sex as part of your average MtF transition to female. And he spent 20 years living as a woman before realizing he wanted to be male once again. Looking back, there are no lies up on his page, but this big chunk does seem to be missing. Not that I can blame him. It's hard enough explaining one's transsexuality to your average layperson. Try explaining your transition to the opposite gender, and then your transition back again to a person unfamiliar with transsexuality or intersexuality.
So if you thought Mangina Man's story was unique before, this makes him probably the most unique guy, ever. (Well, not that unique- the documentary includes another guy who went through the exact same changes). I don't know what kept/keeps his Xtube profile somewhat ambiguous- curbing stupid and hateful comments and questions? Keeping the mystery alive or wanting to share such deep and personal history with individuals you are interested in getting to know (and not just the whole word)? Is it shame?
All I can say is- there's nothing to be ashamed about. I'm still in awe of you, Mangina Man, even more than ever. I think trans people are amazing for being who they are despite what the world tells them. I can't imagine the criticism and fights you went up against in being who you are a second time, this time perhaps from both cisgender and transgender communities. I think it's amazing you shared your story in so many places- perhaps providing the information and example to those who have transitioned and felt regret, but were told it was normal, that they ought forget those twinges, and that transitioning back would be crazy and wrong. You're incredible.
You can also watch a little bit of his story in Tom Murray's documentary "Almost Myself", and, if you're lucky enough, the Murray Povich show's reruns.
The documentary "A Change Of Heart" is truly interesting, regardless of who you are and whether you care about Mangina Man- I suggest everyone give it a watch.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Desperate: Longing To Be Feminine, Accepted
It happens so often that I simply have to blog about it: no sooner do I say that I enjoy cross-dressing men and find them sexy and empowering in their gender transgression than all of the sudden I am flooded with e-mails and messages and comments from many, many CD men. Normally I'd be thrilled to have responses from these sexy guys/gals, but there's always something about them that gets under my skin and irks me: They're just so desperate.And yes, I know it's bad and I feel bad for it. But click below to read a little bit of my explanation.
Sometimes their desperation is outright, other times it lingers between the lines, invariably staining the entire message, however positive and sweet it happens to be. And I don't want to feel this way towards their messages, I really don't. But at the same time, I feel claustrophobic, mobbed . . . they're just so intense, I think. It's that intensity that frightens me, because when these individuals write, they are literally pouring out all of their hopes and fears to me. They bare their souls, make themselves vulnerable as they open up. They're looking for validation from me because so many other women have turned them down, called them freaks, and otherwise belittled their still-fragile, emerging feminine selves. It's a cloying neediness that suffocates me; they come on me too strong, too fast. It's a lot of pressure, and I'm disappointed in myself that I buckle under that pressure. I don't respond to their eager messages. I just can't.
I've never received similar responses from anyone other sexual minority; not gay men, not lesbians, not bisexuals, not FtM transguys, not MtF transgirls, not BDSM afficionados, no one. I don't rightly know what makes cross-dressing men react this way, and more importantly, I don't know what makes me react in my way. I do like crossdressing men, don't I? I find the juxtaposition of their masculinity and femininity arousing; I find their gender transgression taboo and erotic, and I find them to be on some level sacred and beautiful in their strength to do something that society so shuns and degrades. Finding power and satisfaction in femininity is empowering, be you male or female. So why do I feel like running in the other direction when these dream boys contact me?
These are just some of the messages I've gotten. As you'll see, the guys are kind, nice, polite, exuberant. I can't find fault with them, and yet my own mental blocks remain. I hope to one day get past them.
Subject: Now that's HOT!
Message: I just read your answer to my question about favorite fetishes that you have. WOW, like I was too embarrassed to mention that I have a growing fetish for role playing as a woman. I have a high feminine side and haven't found anyone at all that's interested in guys that have no inhabitions towards dressing and acting like a female. I really hope that we can chat and share ideas.Your friend,Chase
Subject: I read your reply to a fellow Tg looking for females that understand her.
Message: I have met other genetic fermales that saw me as the perfect sex mate. I have the mind of a woman. And the equip. of a man. She said I had the best of both worlds. I said to her that it's a living heck instead.She is married w/ three kids. My morals kept us apart.I don't know why but I felt that I should stop to say hey and tell you what I did. I didn't mean any harm. But somehow you put a smile on my face with your reply of accepting TG m to f's.I've had sex with both sexes and I still prefer women hands down. Men are just to rough for me. They get so rammy all of the time. I find women to be more sensual. The sex seems to flow so much more smoothly. I like it best when the sex last half of the night and sometimes into the morning. Plus women don't have a beard that scratches you and women don't snore either. That is so annoying. Please feel free to email me if you like. I so love to talk. Josie.
Subject: Re your response to my question
Message: Hi GwenI'd like to get to know a woman who really wants to understand a guy who loves his fem side. You will understand me being cautious in speaking to someone about my cross dressing.....please tell me a bit more about u.Regards paul(a)
Subject: Hello
Message: Hi Gwen,I hope it's ok that I email you. I have read some of your posts about dressing men as women, and I wanted to say hello. I'm a hetero guy who fantasizes ALL THE TIME about what it might be like to dress as a woman. If you're interested in chatting, I'd love to talk to you about it. I'm very "normal and conservative" in real life - this is definitely a secret of mine.I hope this email finds you well.David
Subject: Thanks for being so open minded about crossdressing guys!
Message: Hi,I just wanted to say I really like that you are so open minded about crossdressers. It gives guys like me hope that there are actually females out there who might be accepting that we like to dress a little feminine every now and then.Thanks again! I can see why you are a top contributor. :)Alan
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