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Showing posts with label anal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anal. Show all posts
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Monday, September 15, 2008
Boys and G0ys
It seems like every four or five months or so somebody surfaces from out of nowhere to remind me of the "g0y" movement. It's something I'd rather forget, to be quite honest.
At first glance, it seems like nothing new. People keep on coming up with labels for their own particular gender and sexual orientational crossroads- it starts as lesbian, breaks down to butches, and we add in the sexual components to get butch tops, butch bottoms, heck, even stone butches. And that's just one example. While it can be a doozy to keep track of all these terms, I generally like the creativity associated with them, the way they help to foster growing communities and battle stereotypes (helping to open up dialogues about diversity), and how they provide individuals with proud identities. Yeah . . . I'm not one of those people arguing "Why do we need labels? Who cares who you love?". I like labels and burgeoning identities.
So I really ought to be thrilled to see a new subset of the gay male, the g0y (yes, that's a zero in the middle, not an "oh", and no, I don't know how to pronounce it), who proclaims proudly that he is masculine, loves masculine men, and he doesn't have anal sex.
Only, there's more to it than that, you see.
A closer look at the g0y philosophy shows they have a lot of, shall we say, interesting ideas about gender and sex, and they come not from a place of personal preferences, but rather from a lot of theorizing and way more explanation than the above definition ought warrant. I mean, why would someone need several webpages defending and vehemently not apologizing for their personal identity in long, meandering passages?
G0y's do not only dislike anal sex for themselves- they dislike it for anyone. People who practice buttsex are labelled "phreaks" and deviants, and the reason for the practice's popularity is likened to the massive campaigns of the tobacco industry, and its affiliation with homosexuality compared to the Nazi takeover of the peaceful Indian symbol (note to the g0y's: actually, the symbol of the swastika is actually reversed, not as is). Strong words, stronger images. And all about a little anal play? Seriously? Nobody's punk'ing me?
But of course, the condemnation of anal sex is integral to maintaining a Christian front. Manipulate scripture as you will- I'm no theologist and could care less. I've heard various sources say that the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah had to do with a lack of hospitality, not gay sex. I've heard some say it was all about man-on-man action, but it don't really matter, because Jesus never said a thing about guys getting together. I've heard some very smart people (okay, well, that's my subjectivity showing through) say that the Bible is reflective of the time in which it was written, and the social mores of that era, hence it can't be taken literally (moreover, there are lots of other things we have changed- women speaking out in church, for example- that wasn't in as much contention as the whole gay issue). But g0y's twist to the Word is a literal one- it's the anal sex that'll getcha sent to hell. Man-on-man lovin' is good in the eyes of the Lord, but "laying with a man as one would a woman"- nuh-uh, mister.
Funny, isn't it? I guess it all depends on your goals. If you're a gay guy longing to be accepted by God, you can tell yourself that. If you're a straight couple longing for some anal sex, though, well, you can talk your way to that, too- like the hilarious parody site Sex In Christ goes to show.
The other tenet of g0ydom is the emphasis on masculinity. Oh no, your Paul Lynde's and Buddy Cole's aren't welcome here. God only knows how they handle watching Jack on "Will and Grace". Now, I've encountered a lot of femme phobia- gay men who are squicked by the mincing and prancing and generally fun part of getting to be gay (you know, if you're so inclined). Every time I hear a gay man complain about stereotypical gay portrayals in the media, I sympathize, but at the same time, I hear those echoes of anti-femme- for effeminate gay men do exist. Some equality in representation of macho men and queens would be nice, but you can't eliminate either completely, no matter how much you wish you weren't associated with them. Your discomfort, I've always maintained, might just be your own hangup. But not so, say the g0ys. If you aren't a virile manly man, you've been brainwashed by the gays- another "phreak" delighting in your gender deviancy.
So. Do g0ys have some good points? Of course they do- that's what draws people to it in the first place (well, besides using their homophobic stances to draw in gay men in denial with self-internalized hatred). They quite correctly acknolwedge that media portrayals of gay men (or, I suppose, for them, "men who love men") are stereotypical and often negative (or at least, have negative connotations in a world that devalues femininity). And they have a very right-on view towards Christian treatments of homosexuality (discrediting the ex-gay movement, for example). And yet, the whole thing sounds like a macho Christian guy's attempt to make his homosexuality palatable with his church and his macho buddies.
I wouldn't have a problem with g0ys if they were what they proposed to be- anal-disliking masculine guys who like guys. But they're much more than that- what amounts to a cult that believes itself morally superior by separating itself from and then belittling and demonizing homosexuality. The only thing that gives me some comfort is that I still have faith in the general intelligence of women. Don't let me down, lesbians. If I find out there's a new "leZbian" subculture of girls who don't eat pussy, there WILL be hell to pay, ya'll.
At first glance, it seems like nothing new. People keep on coming up with labels for their own particular gender and sexual orientational crossroads- it starts as lesbian, breaks down to butches, and we add in the sexual components to get butch tops, butch bottoms, heck, even stone butches. And that's just one example. While it can be a doozy to keep track of all these terms, I generally like the creativity associated with them, the way they help to foster growing communities and battle stereotypes (helping to open up dialogues about diversity), and how they provide individuals with proud identities. Yeah . . . I'm not one of those people arguing "Why do we need labels? Who cares who you love?". I like labels and burgeoning identities.
So I really ought to be thrilled to see a new subset of the gay male, the g0y (yes, that's a zero in the middle, not an "oh", and no, I don't know how to pronounce it), who proclaims proudly that he is masculine, loves masculine men, and he doesn't have anal sex.
Only, there's more to it than that, you see.
A closer look at the g0y philosophy shows they have a lot of, shall we say, interesting ideas about gender and sex, and they come not from a place of personal preferences, but rather from a lot of theorizing and way more explanation than the above definition ought warrant. I mean, why would someone need several webpages defending and vehemently not apologizing for their personal identity in long, meandering passages?
G0y's do not only dislike anal sex for themselves- they dislike it for anyone. People who practice buttsex are labelled "phreaks" and deviants, and the reason for the practice's popularity is likened to the massive campaigns of the tobacco industry, and its affiliation with homosexuality compared to the Nazi takeover of the peaceful Indian symbol (note to the g0y's: actually, the symbol of the swastika is actually reversed, not as is). Strong words, stronger images. And all about a little anal play? Seriously? Nobody's punk'ing me?
But of course, the condemnation of anal sex is integral to maintaining a Christian front. Manipulate scripture as you will- I'm no theologist and could care less. I've heard various sources say that the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah had to do with a lack of hospitality, not gay sex. I've heard some say it was all about man-on-man action, but it don't really matter, because Jesus never said a thing about guys getting together. I've heard some very smart people (okay, well, that's my subjectivity showing through) say that the Bible is reflective of the time in which it was written, and the social mores of that era, hence it can't be taken literally (moreover, there are lots of other things we have changed- women speaking out in church, for example- that wasn't in as much contention as the whole gay issue). But g0y's twist to the Word is a literal one- it's the anal sex that'll getcha sent to hell. Man-on-man lovin' is good in the eyes of the Lord, but "laying with a man as one would a woman"- nuh-uh, mister.
Funny, isn't it? I guess it all depends on your goals. If you're a gay guy longing to be accepted by God, you can tell yourself that. If you're a straight couple longing for some anal sex, though, well, you can talk your way to that, too- like the hilarious parody site Sex In Christ goes to show.
The other tenet of g0ydom is the emphasis on masculinity. Oh no, your Paul Lynde's and Buddy Cole's aren't welcome here. God only knows how they handle watching Jack on "Will and Grace". Now, I've encountered a lot of femme phobia- gay men who are squicked by the mincing and prancing and generally fun part of getting to be gay (you know, if you're so inclined). Every time I hear a gay man complain about stereotypical gay portrayals in the media, I sympathize, but at the same time, I hear those echoes of anti-femme- for effeminate gay men do exist. Some equality in representation of macho men and queens would be nice, but you can't eliminate either completely, no matter how much you wish you weren't associated with them. Your discomfort, I've always maintained, might just be your own hangup. But not so, say the g0ys. If you aren't a virile manly man, you've been brainwashed by the gays- another "phreak" delighting in your gender deviancy.
So. Do g0ys have some good points? Of course they do- that's what draws people to it in the first place (well, besides using their homophobic stances to draw in gay men in denial with self-internalized hatred). They quite correctly acknolwedge that media portrayals of gay men (or, I suppose, for them, "men who love men") are stereotypical and often negative (or at least, have negative connotations in a world that devalues femininity). And they have a very right-on view towards Christian treatments of homosexuality (discrediting the ex-gay movement, for example). And yet, the whole thing sounds like a macho Christian guy's attempt to make his homosexuality palatable with his church and his macho buddies.
I wouldn't have a problem with g0ys if they were what they proposed to be- anal-disliking masculine guys who like guys. But they're much more than that- what amounts to a cult that believes itself morally superior by separating itself from and then belittling and demonizing homosexuality. The only thing that gives me some comfort is that I still have faith in the general intelligence of women. Don't let me down, lesbians. If I find out there's a new "leZbian" subculture of girls who don't eat pussy, there WILL be hell to pay, ya'll.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Is It Any Wonder A Girl Turns To Vaginal Sex Instead?
I really like anal stimulation.In a world where the average non-porn female seems anal-phobic, inclined to squeal "But it hurts sooooo much!" and whine and generally act like it's the most perverted act that the whole of mankind ever invented . . . I like it.
I can't even quite describe why I like it. Anal penetration is definitely different than vaginal penetration; anal has never made me gasp in that particular way, and yet I find myself craving it from time to time (oh, listen to that, I sound like a character drawn up in a bad piece of erotica, "craving anal". Lol.). But honestly, I do. It's that sense of fullness, and, oddly enough, that sense of vaginal emptiness at the same time. The way I can slip into gayboy fantasies like I don't have a vagina at all, and that my clit is really a little cock. It's the way when the lube starts to dry up and the dildo/vibrator starts to stick just a little, pulling at my skin slightly, and that extra friction is just fantastic. Heck, it's just the change of pace.
And yet I hardly seem to ever do it, and I'll tell you why: it's a hassle.
When I get up the hankering to play around back, I feel like an old woman. I groan as I haul myself out of bed to go puttering around for some lube, because I don't keep any nearby; usually I get plenty wet enough vaginally to do whatever I want and not need extra lubrication. Then I've got to apply the darn stuff, and I haven't yet found a way to get it inside me without gloopy, gloppy fingers up to the knuckle, and greasy bedsheets from where I've wiped my hands off. Then I've got to lube the toy (more greasy finger smears) and work it in. Pity on me if I haven't put enough lube, or enough deep enough; then we go through the whole process again. And it literally kills me, because 1) it's so freaking messy, 2) it's time-consuming, and 3) if I want to penetrate myself vaginally, I usually don't have to be wet; I can work it in "dry" very quickly and then let myself get warmed up and wet as time progresses. Having to wait for insertion with anal makes me impatient. Then I finally get it in; we're feeling good. Now I run to go get my underwear, because the uncomfortable contortions required to grab a hold of the dildo/vibe just don't work for me. I like to masturbate on my back, legs spread. It's just me. And when I'm having a ball, the dildo's likely to slip out, which isn't a problem with vaginal- I just cram it back in- but with anal, means I have to stop, set down whatever masturbatory aid I'm using, twist to the side to grab it, work it back in. So the underwear come on, pulled up tight to provide a barrier to keep it in at least a little. Then it's back into bed to finally have my time alone. I do, and it's always good, particularly the moments when I've masturbated clitorally almost to the point of orgasm, then let off and literally hump the dildo, and that drives me over the edge. I always find it amazing. But then . . . I have to go do clean-up. With vaginal, the toy rarely needs much. I wipe off my cum easily and it dries away fast to nothing; with anal, the toy's lube is greasy and still there, requiring something to wipe it up. And my butt feels exactly the same way. Although after all sex I usually like to throw a tissue or two down there just to mop up some of the wetness, I can go about my day with a post-orgasm vagina. I cannot with a post-penetrated anus; it's too greasy and wet and drippy feeling to enjoy. So I necessarily must go to the bathroom to clean up shop, so to speak, which completely ruins one of my favorite acts: masturbating myself to sleep as a bedtime ritual. Even if I wanted to bear it out, anal play always makes me need to go to the bathroom anyways. And though it rarely happens to me- maybe 5% of the time- sometimes you've got a little bit of the anal sex-hazardous fecal matter there, meaning now you've got to go wash your hands, and the toy (note: I'm lazy and will probably suffer for it. You should always wash your toys after you use them, anal or not, fecal matter present or not). By the time I get back and am fully done with the experience, I'm happy, satisfied, but wondering "Really? Was it worth it?".
Who knows; maybe partnered anal sex will be better, when I can let my penetrator do all the prep work and just relax and wiggle my tush invitingly. As it is, anal sex exhausts me. So mostly this is a complaint to my butt. Why can't you be more like your sister, my vagina? Why can't you self-lubricate? Why do you have to be the odd one out, the black sheep of this thing we call my erotic body? You're making it really tough on me to give you any of the love we both know you deserve. Shape up, booty.
Anyways, props, gay boys, props. I apparently have neither the patience nor the initiative to do what's needed to freely take it up the tailpipe.
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