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Showing posts with label fantasy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fantasy. Show all posts
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Nazi Fetish, or Politically Incorrect Fantasies
I've never quite understood how someone's fantasies could be deemed offensive. Fantasies and unacted-upon fetishes seem to be the last place where you can be yourself, where you don't have to worry about offending anybody, about conforming to societal mores, or being, Lord help us, politically correct. But as Behind Kink puts up a new, lengthy video explaining all the intricacies of their proposed rape fantasy site Midnight Takedown (read: a pre-emptive defense against an expected onslaught of criticism and controversy), I started thinking about my own politically incorrect fantasies.
Quite recently, I've shocked myself by a completely out-of-the-blue fetish for . . . Nazi fetishwear and roleplay. I suppose if I wanted to hide it, shade it a little, I'd say it was a uniform fetish, but it's not. It isn't just uniforms. It's one uniform in particular- a powerful aesthetic that, whether updated in latex and BDSM paraphenalia or as classic as the historical version it was modeled upon, evokes power, precision, fear, rules, and a healthy dose of taboo.I'm not quite sure where this fetish came from, or if it will slink back away to the recesses of my mind, but it's nonetheless fascinating at the moment- causing all my BDSM fantasies to be tinged with a
barking German accent, a derisive sneer, and a crisp, trim jacket and cap. It goes without saying, I hope, that I of course do not fetishize Nazi's themselves- or fascism, Hitler, the Holocaust, or anything remotely related to such. I'd rather the costumes not have swastikas, and I don't really want to see one-armed salutes; I'm not getting off on the Nazism. I'm getting off on taking it in, repackaging it in my mind, and finding sexual gratification in the meaning I have imbued it with. Or, as one person commented on a forum, "Atrocities aside, the Nazis had the best military uniforms of anyone in the modern world." Mix the fashion with the mere connotation of 'Nazi'- strict, powerful, foreign, cruel, and revolutionary- and all of the sudden, it becomes very, very sexy and provocative. No wonder punk fashion co-opted the look to make kinda-political-but-mostly-just-shocking statements.
And then, we can't forget, I think, that Nazi's have been sexualized in a lot of ways. I wonder how much "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" may have influenced my youthful self. The beautiful, femme fatale Elsa turned out to be a Nazi villainess. And yet even after her evilness is revealed, she is nonetheless still portrayed sexually- perhaps even moreso!- biting and sucking at a bound Indiana Jones' lip like an artful dominatrix. As a youngster who adored Indy, I must have sucked up that imagery like a sponge. And such imagery has come before and after that- from the highly controversial Italian film "The Night Porter" (above), to LeeLee Sobieski dancing around in joyful roleplay in her SS dress in "Walk All Over Me" (below). And that's not even counting all the Nazi exploitation cinema.
I'm not the only one who finds it hard to be immune to such symbolism. Max Mosley denied his Nazi sex scandal with Mistress Abi (pictured here in Nazi-ish regalia), but general consensus is a resounding "Yup, he did it.". And then there are the open fetishists who indulge in these thoughts: Facist Femmes, Uniformfetish, among others (leaving out those which make me uncomfortable with their explicit focus not only on fantasy, but on the actual Nazi movement, both historical and neo-Nazi modern).I must admit some trepidation in even pushing "Publish Post" for this blog. Undoubtedly there is someone out there who will insist I am evil and depraved for this little fetish. But I hope that this doesn't turn into a Nazi debate. I hope instead that it goes show that whatever your politically incorrect fantasies- age play, rape, incest, racial subjugation, you name it- they are just that: fantasies.
I think I'll let this odd, meandering blog close with one of my favorite quotes:
My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror. ~W. Somerset Maugham
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Opening Pandora's Box
I'm still trying to figure out why I'm so enamored with the website Pandora's Secret's.
I really shouldn't be; it boasts nothing particularly out-of-the-ordinary, in terms of erotica. The basic conceit: people write their fantasies and post them on the site. Boom bada boom. There's nothing more to it than that, and quite honestly, I'm sure other people have been doing it elsewhere long, long ago. And yet I remain hooked.
Maybe it's because I've never actually had the impulse to write down my fantasies before. Oh, I've certainly put pen to paper to write about sexy ideas that get me hot- I am a writer, after all- but when I sit down to write stories, that's exactly what I am: a writer. My erotic stories are carefully crafted in terms of characterization, ambiance, picking out just the right details to accentuate the fucking in my readers' minds. I write to create art, and while it's rewarding, it's incredibly challenging and more than a little non-erotic, struggling to capture the essence of what will make this tryst stand out in the millieu of hundreds of others on sites like Literotica.com (or, in my dreams of getting published, on the shelves at your local bookstore). The pressure, and the perfectionist in me, make writing erotica another chore, albeit one I love far more than going to the bank and Post Office.
But nonetheless, I found myself at Pandora's Secrets- after a curious click on the link from Eros Blog- and decided on a whim to write down a fantasy that consistently and continuously came to me during my solitary sessions. It was short, sweet, and best of all, it felt fantastic. I returned time and time again to read and re-read my fantasy, and then, in the following weeks, to write four more. And I think I've figured out why it's so addictive.
For me, a big part of the appeal is the fact that I am writing for no audience, and yet, at the same time, for an audience. I have nobody I want to impress on Pandorassecrets.com, and the site isn't one of literary erotica. Presumably, nobody is going to criticize my grammar or writing. I am beholden to nobody, and if I decide I want to spend four lengthy paragraphs luxuriating in every minute detail of giving a blowjob- something that, in a real story, would have to be done with particular skill and attention in order not to drag and lose narrative focus- it's perfectly fine. There's no need for an introduction, and the words flow out of my fingers stream-of-consciousness style in the way that only writing without a care in the world can get you (the guiding concept behind the upcoming annual NaNoWriMo as well). And while I might be able to get the same results by writing the exact same thing in a private, and not Web-wide capacity, the idea of an audience acts simultaneously as a motivator. I've left behind started-and-never-visited-again diaries and "personal blogs" because it's so easy to get lazy. Nobody's reading it but me, and it's all in my head anyways, right? The opportunity to put it into a public forum somehow stimulates me to lay my fantasies out where I might otherwise not.
And, of course, there's the sheer, delicious, perverted nature of a fantasy. Or perhaps my fantasies are different. I have many- ranging from celebrities, perverse alternate universes where familiar characters get it on (a.k.a. slash and fanfic), porno-influenced scenes, and . . . people I know. There's nothing quite so naughty as having sexy thoughts about an acquaintance, or even a good friend, because it feels so very real. You know him/her and you know yourself- you can easily plot the interactions between the two of you. And in the same way that a new crush will often be literally hanging off your lips, ready to burst out to the first curious ear, the release of such naughty fantasies is immensely cathartic. Suddenly, it's out there, floating in cyberspace. Your heart pounds giddily at the dizzying thought- what if, just what if, he/she read it and knew it was me writing? Yeah. That's something you can't get from writing fiction, no matter how taboo it gets. I don't know; I talk regularly in various forums about anal sex, incest, threesomes, bukkakes, rape fantasies. I won't say that I'm jaded or immune to the heat generated by the rare, the kinky, the dirty, the 'wrong'. But I've discovered that if I really want to trip my trigger, putting thoughts to paper about my nearest and dearest tends to do the trick, exactly.
So, yeah. If you have some fantasies to unload, try it out. You just might like it!
I really shouldn't be; it boasts nothing particularly out-of-the-ordinary, in terms of erotica. The basic conceit: people write their fantasies and post them on the site. Boom bada boom. There's nothing more to it than that, and quite honestly, I'm sure other people have been doing it elsewhere long, long ago. And yet I remain hooked.
Maybe it's because I've never actually had the impulse to write down my fantasies before. Oh, I've certainly put pen to paper to write about sexy ideas that get me hot- I am a writer, after all- but when I sit down to write stories, that's exactly what I am: a writer. My erotic stories are carefully crafted in terms of characterization, ambiance, picking out just the right details to accentuate the fucking in my readers' minds. I write to create art, and while it's rewarding, it's incredibly challenging and more than a little non-erotic, struggling to capture the essence of what will make this tryst stand out in the millieu of hundreds of others on sites like Literotica.com (or, in my dreams of getting published, on the shelves at your local bookstore). The pressure, and the perfectionist in me, make writing erotica another chore, albeit one I love far more than going to the bank and Post Office.
But nonetheless, I found myself at Pandora's Secrets- after a curious click on the link from Eros Blog- and decided on a whim to write down a fantasy that consistently and continuously came to me during my solitary sessions. It was short, sweet, and best of all, it felt fantastic. I returned time and time again to read and re-read my fantasy, and then, in the following weeks, to write four more. And I think I've figured out why it's so addictive.
For me, a big part of the appeal is the fact that I am writing for no audience, and yet, at the same time, for an audience. I have nobody I want to impress on Pandorassecrets.com, and the site isn't one of literary erotica. Presumably, nobody is going to criticize my grammar or writing. I am beholden to nobody, and if I decide I want to spend four lengthy paragraphs luxuriating in every minute detail of giving a blowjob- something that, in a real story, would have to be done with particular skill and attention in order not to drag and lose narrative focus- it's perfectly fine. There's no need for an introduction, and the words flow out of my fingers stream-of-consciousness style in the way that only writing without a care in the world can get you (the guiding concept behind the upcoming annual NaNoWriMo as well). And while I might be able to get the same results by writing the exact same thing in a private, and not Web-wide capacity, the idea of an audience acts simultaneously as a motivator. I've left behind started-and-never-visited-again diaries and "personal blogs" because it's so easy to get lazy. Nobody's reading it but me, and it's all in my head anyways, right? The opportunity to put it into a public forum somehow stimulates me to lay my fantasies out where I might otherwise not.
And, of course, there's the sheer, delicious, perverted nature of a fantasy. Or perhaps my fantasies are different. I have many- ranging from celebrities, perverse alternate universes where familiar characters get it on (a.k.a. slash and fanfic), porno-influenced scenes, and . . . people I know. There's nothing quite so naughty as having sexy thoughts about an acquaintance, or even a good friend, because it feels so very real. You know him/her and you know yourself- you can easily plot the interactions between the two of you. And in the same way that a new crush will often be literally hanging off your lips, ready to burst out to the first curious ear, the release of such naughty fantasies is immensely cathartic. Suddenly, it's out there, floating in cyberspace. Your heart pounds giddily at the dizzying thought- what if, just what if, he/she read it and knew it was me writing? Yeah. That's something you can't get from writing fiction, no matter how taboo it gets. I don't know; I talk regularly in various forums about anal sex, incest, threesomes, bukkakes, rape fantasies. I won't say that I'm jaded or immune to the heat generated by the rare, the kinky, the dirty, the 'wrong'. But I've discovered that if I really want to trip my trigger, putting thoughts to paper about my nearest and dearest tends to do the trick, exactly.
So, yeah. If you have some fantasies to unload, try it out. You just might like it!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Unfairly Villainized? (Or: My Most Controversial Blog Ever)
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