Monday, September 29, 2008

Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge

Story or sex? The debate on how much- if any- plot a porn should have has gone on for forever, and, as far as I can tell, will continue to do so. Both sides will argue visciously for their camp, and usually have some snide remark to say about the other. "You need story and costumes and a setting and music and dumb acting to get off? What a wimp!" the pro-gonzo folks sneer. "Crude, unsophisticated sex pigs!" the pro-story folks call back. *Sigh* Isn't porn supposed to unite us all in the wonderful act of getting horny over watching sex on a screen?

And so, as the epitome of porno with a plot (and great costumes, lavish sets, music, a significant percentage of hey-that's-pretty-decent acting, and whomping CGI effects) "Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge" is gearing up for it's run, you can bet that everybody is either eagerly awaiting it or rolling their eyes in disgust.

But I just saw the trailer (above), and quite frankly, I can't believe anybody wouldn't want to see it, even if you usually love the most amateur, un-produced quality sex in the world. I mean, seriously. Despite sating your curiosity about the most expensive porn ever produced, it just looks like a rollickin' good time- much like the original mainstream flick it was based on. I was even thrilled to catch a few moments of humor in the trailer, which definitely perked my interest. Action, comedy, and sex in a film that looks good? Yes, please.

Oh, and it has Belladonna. And Sasha Grey. And Stoya. And Tommy Gun once again reprising his awesome role as Stagnetti. (Hmm . . . is it obvious I have more of a thing for the brunettes?). But mostly, it's all about Belladonna. Seriously, if there was ever a role that was meant for her, it'd be "pirate". She just looks so damn good!

On the other hand, Evan Stone kind of seems like a jerk, and in my opinion, doesn't really have the good looks or charm to pull off "he's an asshole but I still want him". So, ugh on that.

At the very least, it has to be better than the lesbian genderqueer sorta-erotic "Girl King" . . . not that I'm blaming you, Girl King. Not everybody has a gajillion dollars to spend like Digital Playground.

So, yeah. I want to see it. I never saw the first one . . . I suppose I should see it first to get that beloved or hated storyline, right? Maybe when I get some money, I'll go ahead and join the bandwagon of "Pirates II" fans. So sue me if it lowers my indie porn cred.

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