Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My Kind Of Sex Toy Testing

In a perfect world, you'd be able to take your sex toys for a test drive, much like you do your car. You could try it on much like your clothes. I mean, if it's important to get a bra that fits you right, how much more important is it to get something that fits your pussy/ass/dick? How many reviews have I read from people who have spent good money on toys that may be well-made but which still just don't do it? Why can't I go for quick run with that Rabbit vibrator before deciding to buy?

Of course, it's understandable, because used toys are, well, yucky. Even if you try to clean 'em up, someone's had them in direct contact with their genitals. And that's sort of nasty, even if we're assuming they're STD and infection-free. So even though I wish this could happen, it just ain't the case.

And while lots of sites do their best to provide good toy reviews, you're still left wondering. Sure, those buttons look nice, but will they be easy to hit in the heat of the moment? Yeah, that review says it's quiet, but how quiet is quiet? What are we judging it by? And for God's sake, how the hell am I supposed to use the Cone? You can always take their word for it, I suppose. Or you could see it in action.

That's just what Xtube's SexToyTester is trying to do. Though the guy only has one video up so far, and he is, well, as guy (meaning that, except for nipple, butt, or BDSM toys, he's not really much use for us gals), the premise is stellar: an ordinary person uses a sex toy for you on video. You get to see it the way you can't in a picture- up-close, at all sorts of angles, rotated for you and its size made very obvious compared to its surroundings and your body. You can hear any noises it makes, whether it's a vibrator's motor or the squishy sounds that you might not be expecting with a Fleshlight. If it vibrates or wiggles, your tester can plop it on the table or floor and let it go so you can see just how much movement or vibration it really has. Your tester can describe the feel and texture and can touch and point our various parts of the toy. No more confusing instructions in trying to get your batteries in and the thing on or off- watch as someone else does it. Watch as the person goes through their sexy time and any difficulties they might encounter (or not). The whole way through, they can point out good aspects and bad aspects (unless, of course, they're so enraptured by the toy that they forget or cannot speak . . . in which case, that's really a good aspect in itself!). In the end, they sum up the pros and cons of the toy, and you have a much better feel for whether or not the thing is going to work for you or not.

Heck, I'd be willing to shell out a modest price in order to get to watch these videos before I decide to buy a toy. Not to mention that everybody likes watching sexy people masturbate (or, for toys that can be used with couples, have partnered sex). Making it educational, useful, and helpful at the same time? Yes, please!

Go both SexToyTester. Tell him to make more videos. Make your own similar videos. Some entrepreneur out there- start up this website idea of mine. Because seriously, you deserve to know what you're buying.


Caracala said...

I read my fair share of sex toy reviews, but this idea is awesome. I really hope he does continue to make some videos....they'll be a hit, if he does, I'm sure.

Jiz Lee said...

That is a great idea. I was thinking it'd be a good thing for sex toy manufactures or retailers to do -- maybe collaborating with porn companies. Ya know!