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Monday, October 6, 2008
Porn Addiction? According To Who?
This post is largely a jump-off from this article about how the porn addiction portrayed in Kurt Cameron's new movie "Fireproof" is raising a lot of 'awareness' of such addiction.
First off, I still remember the good old days when I was in love with "Growing Pains". Mike Seaver had a best friend named 'Boner', something that amused my teenage self to no end. Or how about the episode where little Ben repeatedly called a phone sex hotline? For a girl who stumbled bewilderingly onto porn in her youth and had a lot of conflictions and guilt, that was a pretty precious episode to me, too. But now, of course, Kurt Cameron is uber-Christian . . . enough so that he refused to even kiss his onscreen costar in his new 'with God and some work, I saved my marriage' film "Fireproof". They had to bring in his real-life wife and some shadowy filming to get the scene. I try not to laugh at this fact. I try to tell myself that it's pretty amazing that he sticks to his principles that way and that he wants to remove himself from all temptation that kissing a strange woman might promote. Like I said, I try. I never said I succeeeded.
Even though it looks to be like a so-so acted, and very heavy-handed film with a big ol' "Christian" stamp all over it, it actually doesn't look half-bad, if you're really dead-set on watching a movie about relationships. My reaction is "Ugh", but then again, I've never cared for most love stories unless they seriously engage another genre and do it well. Maybe once I'm married or involved long-term, I'll suddenly garner an interest for these types of tales.
But I'm getting off-topic. What about the porn?
Ah, yes, porn. Bane of the Christians. And with a lot of good defenses of porn/erotica popping up (like 'How about the beautiful celebration of love and sex in "Song of Solomon"?' or 'What about educational movies?', etc.), about the only thing they can really latch onto is the whole "porn addiction" thing. Which, as I've stated before, is a real problem that affects a whole bunch of people and a lot of marriages. But then again, Christian perspectives are working from a viewpoint that condemns porn. Talking about the men and women who casually consume porn without becoming addicted or being adversely affected isn't part of the agenda.
It's interesting, actually . . . a little researching tells me that porn isn't the only thing breaking down the marriage in this movie, which makes me happy, at least. None of the sensationalism of, say, Lifetime's "Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life". But at the same time, Kurt Cameron's character isn't portrayed as being obsessed with porn. He watches it. He cleans out his browser's cache after watching it (although, when your wife screams and gives you a hard time about it, who wouldn't?). But I'm sorry. Addiction this isn't. And it's pretty scary that people are watching this film are coming out shaking their heads about the 'horrible addiction'.
The scariest thing, though, is the fact that, coinciding with the movie, Internetsafety.com is giving out a 30% discount on their porn-blocking software. Now, I'm totally a fan of discounts. I'm totally a fan of people realizing they have a problem and attacking it head-on. And at the same time, I'm upset that nobody is questioning the fact that porn-blocking software companies ARE companies, and they do have a vested interest in promoting the idea of porn addiction. Nobody seems to be taking a critical eye towards this fact. If hysteria and scare tactics are brought to light as tactics of the media to stay self-sustaining, then why can't we ask whether or not such filter companies might have something at stake in convincing people that porn addiction is hugely prevalent, that even occasional looking is addiction, and that it is such a strong force that nothing short of complete and total removal will help you?
Millions of Christians- men and women- watch porn or otherwise consume erotica, and feel it is consistent with their faith. Churches (dependent on tithings) and other religious anti-porn contingents (hired therapists, filtering companies, 'overcoming porn addiction with Christ' books, etc., etc.) can't exactly take that line. Where would they be, then? I'm not trying to say that Christians are motivated by money. I know a lot who aren't, at all, and who really want the best for their friends, family, and parishioners. But I think a we need to ask some serious questions here, and even more when we aren't Christian, but still are told we might suffer from porn addiction.
Who is benefiting from pathologizing you today? Who is requesting money to cure you of your diagnosed addiction, instead of telling you to practice some self-control instead of putting on blinders (which certainly don't work very well when commercials have half-naked chicks soaping up cars sexily)? Whose might like to guilt you straight to the "Porn Addiction" bookshelf at your local bookstore? Ask yourself these questions, and get back to me.
It's cool with me if you don't like porn. It's cool with me if you like porn but feel it's not so good for you and so you abstain. It's pretty dang cool with me if you like porn. But it ain't cool to let others make these decisions for you, especially when the person they're looking out for may not really be you.
Am I totally off-base here? I dunno . . . I'm tired and, for some reason, it's my third blog of the day (can we say 'no social life'?). Comments would be welcome!
First off, I still remember the good old days when I was in love with "Growing Pains". Mike Seaver had a best friend named 'Boner', something that amused my teenage self to no end. Or how about the episode where little Ben repeatedly called a phone sex hotline? For a girl who stumbled bewilderingly onto porn in her youth and had a lot of conflictions and guilt, that was a pretty precious episode to me, too. But now, of course, Kurt Cameron is uber-Christian . . . enough so that he refused to even kiss his onscreen costar in his new 'with God and some work, I saved my marriage' film "Fireproof". They had to bring in his real-life wife and some shadowy filming to get the scene. I try not to laugh at this fact. I try to tell myself that it's pretty amazing that he sticks to his principles that way and that he wants to remove himself from all temptation that kissing a strange woman might promote. Like I said, I try. I never said I succeeeded.
Even though it looks to be like a so-so acted, and very heavy-handed film with a big ol' "Christian" stamp all over it, it actually doesn't look half-bad, if you're really dead-set on watching a movie about relationships. My reaction is "Ugh", but then again, I've never cared for most love stories unless they seriously engage another genre and do it well. Maybe once I'm married or involved long-term, I'll suddenly garner an interest for these types of tales.
But I'm getting off-topic. What about the porn?
Ah, yes, porn. Bane of the Christians. And with a lot of good defenses of porn/erotica popping up (like 'How about the beautiful celebration of love and sex in "Song of Solomon"?' or 'What about educational movies?', etc.), about the only thing they can really latch onto is the whole "porn addiction" thing. Which, as I've stated before, is a real problem that affects a whole bunch of people and a lot of marriages. But then again, Christian perspectives are working from a viewpoint that condemns porn. Talking about the men and women who casually consume porn without becoming addicted or being adversely affected isn't part of the agenda.
It's interesting, actually . . . a little researching tells me that porn isn't the only thing breaking down the marriage in this movie, which makes me happy, at least. None of the sensationalism of, say, Lifetime's "Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life". But at the same time, Kurt Cameron's character isn't portrayed as being obsessed with porn. He watches it. He cleans out his browser's cache after watching it (although, when your wife screams and gives you a hard time about it, who wouldn't?). But I'm sorry. Addiction this isn't. And it's pretty scary that people are watching this film are coming out shaking their heads about the 'horrible addiction'.
The scariest thing, though, is the fact that, coinciding with the movie, Internetsafety.com is giving out a 30% discount on their porn-blocking software. Now, I'm totally a fan of discounts. I'm totally a fan of people realizing they have a problem and attacking it head-on. And at the same time, I'm upset that nobody is questioning the fact that porn-blocking software companies ARE companies, and they do have a vested interest in promoting the idea of porn addiction. Nobody seems to be taking a critical eye towards this fact. If hysteria and scare tactics are brought to light as tactics of the media to stay self-sustaining, then why can't we ask whether or not such filter companies might have something at stake in convincing people that porn addiction is hugely prevalent, that even occasional looking is addiction, and that it is such a strong force that nothing short of complete and total removal will help you?
Millions of Christians- men and women- watch porn or otherwise consume erotica, and feel it is consistent with their faith. Churches (dependent on tithings) and other religious anti-porn contingents (hired therapists, filtering companies, 'overcoming porn addiction with Christ' books, etc., etc.) can't exactly take that line. Where would they be, then? I'm not trying to say that Christians are motivated by money. I know a lot who aren't, at all, and who really want the best for their friends, family, and parishioners. But I think a we need to ask some serious questions here, and even more when we aren't Christian, but still are told we might suffer from porn addiction.
Who is benefiting from pathologizing you today? Who is requesting money to cure you of your diagnosed addiction, instead of telling you to practice some self-control instead of putting on blinders (which certainly don't work very well when commercials have half-naked chicks soaping up cars sexily)? Whose might like to guilt you straight to the "Porn Addiction" bookshelf at your local bookstore? Ask yourself these questions, and get back to me.
It's cool with me if you don't like porn. It's cool with me if you like porn but feel it's not so good for you and so you abstain. It's pretty dang cool with me if you like porn. But it ain't cool to let others make these decisions for you, especially when the person they're looking out for may not really be you.
Am I totally off-base here? I dunno . . . I'm tired and, for some reason, it's my third blog of the day (can we say 'no social life'?). Comments would be welcome!
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